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help- absolutely heartbroken and led on

bag75 July 9th, 2020

The realization that I was just led on and played the past few months has made me feel sick. I was "talking" with a guy I met initially in person but we wound up being long distance b/c he moved. For months, he made me feel amazing and tho I've never believed in love, I started to think I was falling in love with him. I developed concerns b/c throughout all this, he never talked about feelings for me or even complimented my appearance; it was always more emotional conversation and not at all flirtatious. So about 5 months in I ask him what the intent is here and we have a conversation that leads to to several suspicions 1) he never planned on dating me in real life or in the future and he never had; he didn't want to commit to me in anyway ever 2) he wanted an out 3) he refered to these "other variables" that to me meant him pursuing other girls. I decided to end it b/c of these suspicions but a few weeks later I felt guilt b/c everything was great when we were a thing and I had just been reading between lines. So i reached out after winding up in the same city just stating he always has me as a friend and thru our conversation then, he confirmed all suspicions were true. He's told me he's already with another girl and I saw on social media that they went out. I'm absolutely heartbroken and can't believe I let this guy play me for months. I feel dumb, stupid, naive, my self esteem tanked. But all I deperately wanted was to feel loved and to him it was a game.

2
SnailPurple July 15th, 2020

Hello @bag75

It sounds this has made you feel really bad. I'm sorry this happened to you <3 I promise you are not stupid, dumb, or naive. While I have never gone through something like this myself, please know that I am here for you <3 If you want to chat about this, feel free to message a listener <3

SweetPumpkin July 18th, 2020

@bag75 I am sorry to hear this! Part of beliving in love is allowing yourself to become vulnerable to exactly this kind of treatement. But it is okay. It's a time of growth. And if you feel "played", it's this man's fault for missing out on you.

I understand how difficult it is to open up, and nobody wants their heart broken. But, sometimes it will happen, and it is a sore you might carry for a while. But believe it will get better, over time, and when you meet people who care about you as a person. Good luck out there.