crazy making...
My ex is a pro crazy-maker. I know he's doing it to me, yet it still drives me crazy!
In our divorce decree, it states we each have to pay 1/2 of a certain debt. It's a monthly payment. This month he decided not to put his half of the money in our joint account. So the account went negative and there was a NSF bank fee as well. I let him know via email that he ows money to joint. He wrote back last night and said "wrong" and not a word since.
I have a month til the next debt payment... so I can sit on this for a month, but I'll seriously go insane by then. Yes, I know he did it to piss me off and yes, it still pisses me off.
Does anyone know what I can do about this legally?
How do you guys deal with stuff like this? I can't focus at work.. I'm going NUTS here!
@road2smiles ~ Your current situation sounds really stressful to me, and I sincerely hope it is resolved, very soon. What do you think are your options, at this point, in regards to this situation with your ex?
@Lilylistens it's pretty sad really. I called him up in a panic attack freaking out over the money and he paid it. He hasn't done the NSF fee and I know he's doing it to stress me out because he's mad at me. I know how to play his game... and sometimes I don't want to. I played the game and got the money but at what expense? I was emotionally drained the rest of the day. Like my sister said... if he was a physical abuser, no one would expect me to meet with him to talk. So he's an emotional abuser... why should I have to talk to him. It's maddening....
@road2smiles
I am sorry you are facing all this stress and anxiety, due to this ongoing challenge that you have shared with us.
What you shared, about your having to communicate with him, even though he is emotionally abusive...please know you are not alone in this type of situation. Sadly, many people find themselves in high conflict post-divorce or post-partner situations.
That said, if you would like to explore some options that I am aware of, I will share them here:
~ There are online sites/services that are geared towards communicating in a high conflict post divorce/post-partnering/co-parenting situations, and some of these sites/services log all communications that occur via the site, as well as having options for posting and reimbursing expenses, etc.
~ Online support is available for persons going through a high conflict post-divorce or breakup situation, including, but not limited to, 7 Cups of Tea.
~There are many books available on this subject.
~Some communities have services available.
Being mindful that this situation will not last forever (even though it might feel like it, at times) and also being mindful to take good care of yourself, would be ideas you might consider. What do you think?
All the best to you, while you continue in navigating this challenging situation. Please share more with us here, if you would like to. This community is here for you, as you continue to move forward.
@Lilylistens thank you! Thinking about possible solutions helps keep me grounded. I doubt my ex would use a site like that.... sounds like kind of a mediation site. He's too busy ignoring me now ... so I'm not contacting him but it's increasingly hard given he owes me money!
I feel like if I have to call him... he wins. And he gets this sense of accomplishment. I'm sure he does. I think if I could pull off being my happy self sounding like I don't give a hoot about what's going on... like it's NOT stressing me out to the gills... then I'd have a minor victory... I just don't know that I can do that. Just thinking about callig him speads my heart rate up and not in a good way.
I'm frustrated as all heck. I'm trying very hard to not dwell on it... but it is so hard. He is evil!
