Why do you constantly give yourself FALSE hope that you're ex still want's to be with you? (** EXAMPLES ONLY**)
WELL, it seems to always happen so i figured we could get it out into the open minds of other people.
After a month into a break up when everything is said and done, leaving you depressed and drained from every part of life, people generally start to think that their ex is still trying to keep the relationship going. I want to understand what the real reasons are for this phenomenon.
I know that sometimes people can start thinking that, if they are insecure about themselves and they don't think they would ever find another soul mate or even girlfriend.
Other times it's because their ex is sending them indirect messages such as blocked phone calls, social media posts or rumors.
I feel that most people THINK spending 5 years with someone automatically means that they are going to be able to work through all the problems they have/had and always get back together. FALSE!
*I want to know you're personal examples*
Thinking and convincing yourself that an ex is still trying to have a relationship is unhealthy and usually it is caused by feeling guilty or over thinking. Playing emotional games back and fourth is usually what happens so don't fall for it or you WILL be more heartbroken than before i promise. Why go out of you're way to bring yourself down?
PLEASE BE AS CLEAR AND DETAILED AS POSSIBLE FOR AN ACCURATE REPONSE***
Thanks for reading :) <3
-Brok3nheart
I'm surprised no one has responded to this post yet. I think it's because people aren't ready and want to believe that someone will eventually come back because they obviously had some sort of emotional/romantic connection and they don't think someone can just come and go in a drop of a hat. Excited to see what else will be posted. Def going to subscribe!
Do you think its an emotional/romantic connection that they can't find with anyone else? When people break up they usually do it because there is a clear reason and there is usually no way of going around that reason or 'fixing' it. Having a relationship and thinking that you cant lose you're gf/bf is a really comforting feeling, but everything has a limit and there is always a chance of a break up because of the nature of what some people do.
I think things like trying to get revenge, or trying to make someone jealous are in a sense more about proving that you were hurt or wronged somehow. What makes it so complicated, is that - if you knew it would hurt their feelings - indifference itself could be revenge.
So for me, I feel/felt sort of caught in limbo - should I move on to someone else, or would that hurt them? Do they push me away because they're mad at me, or do they really not see it the same way?
Because he said he loved me while leaving. Cos he promised to be with me forever the night before the morning he left without a word. Because he's depressed and will realise he misses me eventually. Cos he still lives in our house. Cos I love him more than life and he said the same. He has to still want me because I need him to.
Because I'm not ready to move on so how could he be? He must be hurting as much as me. He made a mistake and is too proud to admit it. If I give him time he will find a way to come back to me.
Talk about delusional! But this is the path my brain takes at first. I think its the first stage of grieve, denile. So I guess it is normal as long as this state doesn't continue for too long.
I think the brain takes time to process something so painful, particularly if it was unexpected.
So, little bits of truth are trickled into our thoughts, slowly, so that we can deal with them.
Example; everything was just great -' we never even argued.
Truth; well, I guess we never really argued because I backed down every time he started to get angry..
That's why I think it's important to take time to get a true perspective, cos it only comes over time.
@WildEarth This is exactly how my brain is spinning even though I know it's not healthy for it to be spinning that way. He reaches out to me constantly to just remind me that he doesn't want me and I take that as signs of him fighting it....signs of him knowing where home is, where his heart is, who his soulmate is, but if that was the truth wouldn't he be here now?
i give myself hope cause he was my world for 4 years and he knew it,one day ill let go of thathope but for now it makes me feel secure
Because it's been 4.5 years and we still turn to each other for advise, inside jokes, and life's big moments. Because her mom says "you need to be with someone like JBlake..." and she tells me. Because life is brighter when she's around. Because she told me recently that she still loves me.
Because the last thing she said to me was, "ILY2 <3" right after she said we should watch a show online together in a day or two (we're in different cities, now)... before she just stopped communicating.
She has more personal struggles than I'd realized at first. But, what we had is real. And this relationship didn't end out of want. it ended because of necessity (we met when she was separated, but she decided she needed to go back after she healed from what was done to her because of 20 years etc... that and her spouse has many mental illnesses, and she is very co-dependent, so I can see where she's coming from... she didn't want to leave, but she felt it was the right thing to do). We still love each other. I KNOW she still loves me. But, she's struggling, and I'm not in her immediate area, so... I'm the casualty.
It's definitely a case of, "It's not me, it's her" here. We had a wonderful time together... it was more good than bad. Who knows, maybe we WILL eventually end up together like she said. Maybe we won't. I would just very much like to not be in pain when I think of her or us.
Well I have been dealing with this exact thing. Personally, I've kept hope up that we would rekindle because 1) he told me so for quite some time, 2) even when he says he doesn't want a relationship, he tells me how much he loves me and how he has such strong feelings for me, findsit hard to not be romantic, etc. So sometimes even if someone SAYS they don't want a relationship, they send incredibly mixed signals and it leads the other person to have false hope. Which is not okay. Sometimes it can be hard to decipher what is real and what is deception and to listen to the actual TRUTH they are telling you.
Hope this helps :)
Because he told me he needs me. Because he told me he can't resist me. Because he told me he's addicted to me. Because he told me I matter to him. I asked him how. He said he cares about me very much. I asked him how. He told me "I love you." And deep down inside I so want to believe that.