Today weighs a little heavy
Today is my first Valentine’s Day alone in six years. My husband and I are separated (living together still). While we were dating/together, Valentine’s Day was just another silly day, we might have gotten each other something small but we never went all out. Now that we’re separated, it feels like the end of the world. I can’t even talk to my friends with my grief because I don’t want to bother them on their day with their SO. I’m trying to tell myself that I shouldn’t be giving this so much thought, it’s just a day. But then I also tell myself that whatever what makes me sad is worth grieving. I just feel lost and alone. Our dating anniversary is in a few days. I know it’ll feel heavy then too.
I know what you're going through in some aspect, basically feeling the same way today myself. First valentines day in almost 5yrs alone and to boot it was supposed to have been the first valentines day in this new house together. Filled the day with lots of yard work, bike ride, time with the kids, movies etc, just to not think about any of what should have been. Can't really ask friends about anything either as they are all with their S/O. And know that tonight is probably going to be even rougher once the kids are in bed and it gets quiet, that's my trouble time. Don't know what I'd do if the person was still here but not though. That adds a whole other level to everything that should have been but not. You have my thoughts though and hope you can find some way to feel less uncomfortable and less alone. You are allowed to grieve, but as many have told me, don't let it consume you and don't let him control your happiness.
Thank you for your kind words. My heart is with you and I hope you find strength for tonight. I try to not let it consume me and to remind myself that my happiness is within me. It’s hard some days for no reason, but then especially on a day where it feels like everyone is flaunting their love right in your face while you’re falling apart. I made some art and put on my comfort show, your words helped me as well. Thank you
It's incredibly hard some days more than others specially today. The flaunting of love and happiness and everything is perfect is why I have not logged onto any social media sites today. I personally can't do that right now, I'm still trying to pick up the pieces of a shattered heart. Distractions, hobbies, TV, stuff that doesn't allow you to think about the problem does help, it's not a solution but when you are feeling so beat up over something it's good to have something to take your mind and just flip it to auto pilot for a while.
You worded it exactly! Just something to go on autopilot with. It’s a much needed break after feeling like grief is eating you alive. Improvement is a slow process, learning how to fulfill the needs your partner once did. Learning how to love yourself again is exhausting but it’s something we need to do. Some days going on autopilot is good enough. It’s just what we need
@raisin12
I'm with you in how you're feeling as well. It's the first solo Valentine's day I've had in 5 years and it's been pretty awful. It was compounded by the fact that she and her new beau officially announced their relationship on the very community forum that we had met each other 8 years ago, and where we were both known to be a couple. It caught me by complete surprise and it re-opened much of the wound I had been slowly healing. I know it's not her problem anymore, but I couldn't help but feel disrespected and hurt by it.
Just know that you're not alone in how you're feeling. So many of us are getting through these tough times together and I think it really helps to always keep that in mind--it does for me anyway, that's for sure. I truly hope you can find the relief and comfort you deserve, as soon as possible.
My heart is with you in what you’re going through. Knowing I’m not going through this alone is the greatest comfort in a weird way. Not because I wish this pain on anyone, but because I know that there’s people who see my pain, understand it. And I see and understand theirs. And just like that, we’re a little less small
it’s okay to feel upset, but I think it’s equally important to show yourself love on this day of love. pamper yourself today, buy yourself a gift or just do a bunch of things that make you happy and feel loved 😊
Thank you! I’ve been telling myself all day that happiness is within me. That love is within me. But it’s so hard to believe it when I say it to myself, I guess I don’t believe myself. It’s nice to hear it from someone else, who doesn’t even know me in real life, and they still believe in my self love!