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Should I move on?

flyingtuna7 March 4th, 2022

My ex and I were in a long distance relationship (3 hour drive; 170 miles) for almost a year. We tried to see eachother every weekend but due to various curve balls, like Army drill, there would be times where we wouldn't see eachother for 2-3 weeks. We made it work for almost a year, but in the end the distance was the reason she ended things.


She struggles with anxiety and stress and I know that played a big factor in her decision. She's trying to get into a master's program and she was having trouble focusing on everything. Trying to see me every weekend started to feel like a chore due to the distance it would seem. Everytime we were together, she was so passionate towards me, and I to her. When we were apart, I could tell she grew upset.


Her and I were so close and really connected on another level (I thought at least) I never connected with someone as much as I did with her, we had the same morals, principles, view, outlooks, interests, hobbies, and faith. We used to talk about growing together in love and in faith. I genuinely think she is the one.


The hard thing too is her family loved me, especially her mother. I still talk to her mother from time to time and she told me she thought we were going to get married and she hopes that her and I may rekindle in the future. Her whole family loved me and even the grandparents loved me (who also thought we would get married). They all said I reminded them of a younger version of the grandfather (the foundation of their family). It's hard to let that all go, especially when I grew so close to them all.


I was waiting for our 1 year anniversary to give her some big news, but I never got to let her know. I was going to tell her my plan to kill the distance. I was looking at apartments at the halfway point between us. I was prepared to make the long commute to work in the meantime, but I was also looking into transferring to a branch of my company down near her eventually (then ultimately move in together). I was waiting for our anniversary and I never got the chance to tell her. I know with long distance relations, you need that plan to beat the distance. I had it, but she never knew. I tried to text her my plan, but she never responded. I know she removed me from social media and possibly my phone number as well. Her mother told me that's her way of trying to move on... I'm still trying to figure out why she wants to move on. Her mother told me there is not another guy.


I also have a unique situation where I have 150 shared credits to certain schools in the state. I was trying to get her access to these credits so I could help her pursue her dream career for free. I never told her this because I wanted her to choose her own path and not feel burdened. I had a lot of plans for her that I left for a grand surprise, but it ultimately backfired.


At the end of the day, I'm 25 and she's 23... I know we are young and have a lot of life ahead of us. Things could come back, but they also could not. I put my heart and soul into the relationship and it's hard to feel so powerless in the matter. I know time and God will heal all, but I still can't bring myself to let go of her. I still thinks she's the one. I want to wait for her but I know that's a painful thing to do to myself.



1
dukeofdearham March 4th, 2022

If she wants to reconnect, she will. It is out of your hands. I would still move, that is, if the career move you have in mind is for you, and you only.

I would keep my distance from her family and get some decent "alone" time.The more contact, the more you will keep wounds open. Also on her side as no doubt she knows her family and you still communicate. Just leave it alone for a few months.