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Separated after four years

raisin12 February 9th, 2021

A few days ago my husband of four years and I decided to separate. We had been having problems for some time now and we can’t afford marriage counseling. I still wanted to keep trying but he said he wasn’t happy anymore, that the relationship was no longer healthy, and that we needed time apart. We still live together, we have a lease until the end of the year and neither of us can afford to take it over. I’m not sure if we will get back together, although I hope will all my heart we do. He says that there’s a lot we each need to improve about ourselves and that perhaps in the future, we can try again. I cry multiple times a day at losing my best friend, my soulmate. I thought we’d be together forever, I used to tell him our atoms were connected since before the universe was created. I know people separate and divorce all the time but I never thought it would be me

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lifeisbeautiful37 February 9th, 2021

I hope to reply more later, but just want you to know even though I’m a stranger I care and hope things will work out in whatever way is best for everyone.

amiableBlackberry92 February 9th, 2021

Dear Raisin, I'm so sorry your going thru this. Don't give up. I had some similar issues and I was getting desperate so I wrote letters to my hub. I told him all the things I love about him, a long list. I wrote another letter about our intimate encounters and what I loved and what I wanted and what I liked that he did. I did both of these letters in great detail. Some of it was out of my comfort zone but I was totally honest and said I wanted and needed to try to make our relationship better. Omg I was so nervous leaving my letters under his phone. But he read and loved them and I feel like he wants this to be forever . I was floored over his super excited turned on reaction! Didn't expect that. But I continue to give him hand written positive letters. He loves it. Face to face is so hard for me to communicate, I'm shy. Maybe this can work for you idk just wanted to share in hopes to let you know your not alone. I care.

1 reply
raisin12 OP February 9th, 2021

I did write a letter, but I did not give it to him because I’m not sure where we’re at right now. We still talk occasionally throughout the day and even share a few laughs, but nothing romantic. We’re essentially roommates right now

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raisin12 OP February 9th, 2021

I just wanted to add on to this— am I being foolish for holding on to the possibility that we will reunite?? He knows that I want more than a friendship and I still have feelings for him. He says he still loves me but needs time. I feel dumb for having hope but at the same time it’s what keeps me going