Putting myself out there is making me miss my ex
My ex and I broke up about 3 months ago, although I knew the break up was coming a bit before it actually happened. I've recently started using dating apps to try and put myself out there/move on and just have a bit of fun. I'm not ready for anything serious but I also had the idea that dating would show me there are plenty of other men out there and I shouldn't be TOO cut up about my ex and I breaking up (not like it was my choice anyway). However, I've had a few negative experiences since dating (e.g. one guy bragging to me about how he cheated on his ex and never told her...on a second date!!), and it has left me coming home each night feeling miserable and missing my ex. This has sparked a lot of self criticism and helpless feelings surrounding our break up and my own faults within the relationship. For example, I'm questioning whether I should have complained about certain things my ex would do, because at the end of the day he was a good, honets loyal man.
Anyway, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's felt like this before. I just thought a bit of harmless dating would be fun but I just feel like it's making things worse. If anyone has any similar stories/experiences or advice please feel free to comment, need some positivity.
@aliceinwonderland22 I have been there. I have realized, however, that it wasn't my ex that I missed, but the safety of a relationship that I was familiar with. We tend to fear the unknown, I think that is human nature, so we cling to the people, relationships, or environments that are familiar to us -- especially when the "new" becomes a little bit frightening.
One thing you might consider is that perhaps you are not ready, quite yet. While dating can be fun and you have the opportunity to meet new people, sometimes when we are just out of a relationship we need some time to reflect on the things we do and do not want in a partner. I do not mean to suggest that you should not be dating. You are the expert on you. I only mean in terms of missing your ex.
Ironically, I met my current spouse after I had decided I was not going to date for a while and was just going to focus on taking care of myself and meeting my goals.
@aliceinwonderland22
Hi, i know it's difficult being in the situation you are in...maybe try get over your ex before you start going out to dates? There are many other ways to have funas well like hang out with your friends or even family. You need to believe you can fun with or without your ex. Don't stress yourself! I'm glad your picking up back in life...just remember you can have fun with other people and you don't have to be romantically intersted in them...just be you. Please be honest with yourself and maybe even open up to people...it will make you feel better and they may also give you good advice!
Stay strong girl!!!
xoxo
