Moving on from a "soul mate" type relationship
Hello,
I've recently gone through a very painful breakup (due to factors external to the relationship) with a guy that I am deeply, deeply in love with. I don't know if I believe in soul mates, but if they're real, then he was mine :( We connected on every level, and I never felt uncomfortable sharing anything with him. Everything was a fun adventure, and I was so excited to share my life with him. But now he's gone :( Very suddenly, and very unexpectedly.
Does anyone have any advice for how to get through this? He still loves me and never mistreated me or anything, so I can't feel angry... I just don't know how to move on from something my heart wants to hold on to so badly :( I feel so lost :(
@kappa170
My heart hurts for you. It hurts to love someone so much, and then, poof, they're just gone. If they were ever really there.
Anyhow...without knowing all the circumstances, let me just say that you have to remember to breathe. Some days will be good; others you will want the world to leave you alone. But you have to keep taking care of yourself. Eat. Sleep. Get your mind on other things- this can be anything from reading a book to baking a cake. Going for a walk in a scenic area. I don't know what your religion is, and please take this in the spirit it is intended (ie not offensive), but I have found asking God for strength every day to be helpful. Also the mindfulness/meditiation exercises here are great. You have to take care of you right now. Your mind will be screaming, "what is he doing? Is he thinking of me? Where do we go from here?" You have to get the voices in your head to a lull if you can't get them to stop. Right now you have to think of yourself. Sounds selfish but it is not. You must take care of yourself.
When the grief comes, and it will off and on, allow it. Don't do anything harmful to yourself, but if you feel ready to cry, then cry. It hurts much more to keep the tears inside. If you need to scream, get somewhere where you won't bother anyone and just scream your lungs out. I have found free-flow writing (where you write down whatever comes to mind) to be helpful as well. Respect the grief and let it out- it's part of your healing process.
Learn to love yourself too. I am still adjusting to this idea and I'm going through my own breakup struggle as well. That is why I hurt for you.
Sending you love and hugs. Feel free to vent. You can get through this struggle. I/we/people here are all here for you.
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Hope I have helped you!
