Just looking for support
Hello, I've recently gone through a breakup, two months ago and a few days now. Things have been rough to say the least. I've started journaling since tried to reach out to my circle but seem to keep getting the same results/answers that don't seem to satisfy what I'm looking for. I have been no contact ever since day one but am finding it hard to not reach out now and was hoping for some support or maybe jsut a place to write down what I'm feeling. What triggered it today I guess was when I noticed through a mutual friend on facebook that my ex had removed me as a friend. I had already blocked all the update set it to don't follow and all that jazz. But it hit home pretty hard seeing that she took this final step. I guess I was holding onto the fact that we were still "connected" in some way as a possibility of rekindling or reconnecting. This tie being severed I feel like the Hope I could treasure is gone, my minds strays to thought thats she is with someone new and wants to share that or whatever.
Context sorry, we were having rough times, she ended it over the phone, I agreed and then she told me she had met someone all on the same call. I'm feeling pretty bad and wanting to reach out, I justify to myself that it's closure that I am looking for and I want to be able to anylase what went wrong to change. But I know that really all I'm looking for is the chance to talk again and to convince her that we can work things out. I yearn for the comfort that we had together and think about it daily everything is a reminder. I buttered my toasts yesterday and thought of how she would put way too much on hers. Little things. Anyways, just reaching out saying I'm having trouble, I'm really wanting and imagining the conversations we would have if it were to happen. Fantisizing is the right word. I'm stuck in the should I or shouldn't I. Pros. Cons
@brightKite3231 I can imagine how how difficult and painful it must be to see that your spouse has made a move to cease any potential contact with you. I think a lot of the time we find peace in having a potential outlet to share our feelings, however when seeing yourself blocked, it is hard to imagine the relationship being completely over. It seems like you were not provided with a lot of closure, as she broke up with you over the phone. How hard it must be to know that she found someone else as well. Sometimes however we need to mourn the loss of someone that was such a large part in our lives. It seems like by buttering the toast and thinking of her you were doing just that.
@brightKite3231 Hi there! I want to start by saying I'm sorry that you're going through a tough time with this breakup and that it must have taken courage to share what you're going through. Sometimes you just need to talk to someone, to connect again with anyone, especially after feeling so distant from friends and family. So just know that we're here to listen. About closure- knowing why or getting a proper good bye is not as satisfying as most people imagine. From my experience, closure is used to hide the real motive- the desire to go back to the way things were. And that's understandable- it's scary to have to face an uncertain future. It's infinitely more comfortable to cling to things that are familiar and feel safe than to embrace an abstract, intangible possibility. And the possibility I'm talking about isn't some other girl, although that could happen too. I'm talking about the possibility that you'll be alright. The possibility that one day you'll be happy and carefree again. The possibility that you'll be excited about all the dreams you used to have before you were in a relationship, all of those places you still have yet to see and the adventures you don't even know you'll have yet. And it's so much more than a possibility. There's a version of you, not too long from now, that has already let go of the sadness. There's so many amazing possibilities waiting for you but you don't even see them coming because right now you're caught up in looking backwards. Have hope because tomorrow is another day.
