@Melloncollie1985 ~
I am so very sorry for the loss of your child. I can imagine the pain of such a loss. Please know you have my sincere condolences, and my heart really goes out to you.
What you have shared about this situation being a rock and a hard place makes sense, given the circumstances.
You are an amazing person, I think, to be concerned about your ex's feelings in all of this.
That said, I clearly hear that you are happier with no communication with him at this point. I wonder, then, which of the two options you think will be most comfortable for you, now, and as you move forward? I also wonder if you think there might be any other option you might consider.
What do you think?
If you would like to continue to discuss here in the forums, that is perfectly okay. If you would prefer to PM me, please feel free to do so. Please take good care of yourself,
~ Lily