Just a quick question/need advice
Tomorrow is fathers day. Do i wish my ex happy fathers day? He wished me a happy mothers day but we were on speaking terms then. We are no longer on speaking terms. I feel kinda obligated to but at the same time i dont want to open that door bc im doing so well finally. Thoughts? Advice?
@Melloncollie1985 ~
Thank you for reaching out for thoughts on this here.
I hear you that you are torn on this, and I think that makes sense, given the circumstances you have shared.
If you are comfortable sharing here, I wonder what you feel would bring you the most peace and happiness, in regards to this choice?
@Lilylistens
I think that i would feel bad if i didnt wish him happy fathers day. But on the other hand i would be happier having limited to no contact with him. Ive been the happiest ive been in yrs since we've stopped talking. I just dont want him to pull the how could you forget our child (we had a miscarriage but still consider ourselves parents). Its just a rock and a hard place on this subject.
@Melloncollie1985 ~
I am so very sorry for the loss of your child. I can imagine the pain of such a loss. Please know you have my sincere condolences, and my heart really goes out to you.
What you have shared about this situation being a rock and a hard place makes sense, given the circumstances.
You are an amazing person, I think, to be concerned about your ex's feelings in all of this.
That said, I clearly hear that you are happier with no communication with him at this point. I wonder, then, which of the two options you think will be most comfortable for you, now, and as you move forward? I also wonder if you think there might be any other option you might consider.
What do you think?
If you would like to continue to discuss here in the forums, that is perfectly okay. If you would prefer to PM me, please feel free to do so. Please take good care of yourself,
~ Lily
@Melloncollie1985
If opening the door to a situation that caused you pain or grief or placed you in a negative relationship - perhaps it's time to think of the ex as the ex and leave that as a part of the past. Since you're both not on speaking terms (for likely a good reason or two) then, let things go. It's ok to miss some parts of him, but ideally you're probably trying to come up with excuses just to talk to him and re-live a little bit of what you both shared - which probably wasn't ALL bad, but, it wasn't working enough to keep you both together.
It might be beneficial to learn from your situation with him and move on... because perhaps re-connecting with him will only bring a lot more of what you had before with him - with this audacious hope of him changing to be the man you'd like for him to be.
It's ok to miss him... probably not ok to put yourself into the past and try to regain his attention which may likely bring you more of the same reasons as to why you both broke apart.
It's your life - your situation - you do what is right for you.