I woke up thinking my ex gf was there...couldn't sleep, ruined my morning
My Gf broke up with me quite suddenly via text message later in June and it took me by surprise as I didn't feel/see/notice any real warning signs that things were going to end. She was acting just like she always did only a couple days before, saying I love you etc. So I wasn't in the mindset that things were about to shift. We had good chemistry and just clicked. Not sure if I am allowed to say, but our sex life was amazing and made being with her even better. She was very adventerous and a little intense in that situation but I didn't mind. So after all this I had no reason to see it ending so quickly and for no direct reason. It came off as more of a blame it all on me kind of thing.
when she broke up with me she said that she didn't like it when I would get worked up over certain situations and that made her think that I was similar to her abusive ex (he hurt her way worse, physically etc.). This made me feel terrible and I imediately took all of the blame on myself for the entire breakup. It has got me in a mindset that I just cannot shake.
I am currently seeing a psychologist to help me work on my irritableness and try to get me out of this depressive low spot that all this has put me in. She seemed to go cold, and cut off all contact and deleted every trace of my existence. (P.S. this is someone I have to work with).
I woke up with a weird feeling this morning that she was with me and that I would roll over and see her there. Of course she was not there, but it then got my mind racing a mile a minute with thoughts that I haven't had since she first broke up with me. I have been doing so well and things like this set me back.
I just want to truly be able to get past all of this and be able to just go about my work and day without her precesne affecting me. It cuts into my sleep schedule, and my productivity at work.
@whawkins When we use to live with someone close to us and suddenly we are supposed to live and do every single thing alone, it makes sense that we feel very frustrated and like we don't do our best. I can understand how you're feeling. I'm so sorry about all what happened.
You cared much about her, and even when she broke up with you telling you that you made her feel if you were like her ex, you immediately took all blame on you. You have a great heart and you don't deserve to be abandoned in such way. You know you tried your best to make her safe. She instead of breaking up, she could talk with you about those certain situation and have a conversation with you, but it seems that she hasn't been healed yet from her past relationship. I'm so sorry you're going through a hard time now. You are going to pass it and be able to live, work, and do everything without being interrupted by the thoughts of her. Please trust yourself and give yourself the time you need to heal. I believe in you
@SunFlower700
Thanks SunFlower :).
Yeah the distance doesn't make it easy, and how she decided to end it and cut me out was not right. I'm frustrated because of how she expects me to just move on and get used to not being with her, after she gave me no opportunity to say my side, get closure, or figure out why she all of a sudden ended things. She went from caring a lot to not giving a shit about me and she expects me to just pick up the pieces of my heart and still interact with her at University.
I know that I don't deserve it but I still get moments where I feel like I did everything wrong and that I was the whole reason she broke up with me. My psychologist has given me methods to help with this but sometimes I can't help myself from getting sad/upset about things. It sucks that she hasn't tried to take the steps to heal from her past bad relationships and that when I tried to get her some ways to help, she said that it was fine but she didn't need it.
I just find myself getting really emotional about it all, and my whole summer has done a 180 from where it was heading. She thinks that saying get over her will do the trick, but honestly there is a part of me that wants to tell her how it has negatively impacted me, my day to day life, and my health. I know that I must seem hopeless but it sucks to know that the way she thinks of me is not based on full facts and that the next person she dates will ultimately hear stories about me that are not 100% accurate. I also still have to see her almost daily while at university...this is going to be soooo tough and I can already see everything going to hell so fast.
@whawkins
Awh, I'm really sorry you had to go through all of this. It really seems it has impacted you so emotionally. and I can understand where you're coming from when coming to your own feelings or your concerns about what she is going to tell her next person about you. Let me ask you if a clear conversation with her would help you? You will not ask her to come back or blame her for breaking up but you need to make things clear for her that you never meant to hurt her. You deserve her to understand your situation correctly and not have a mistaken views about you. Does that seems a vaild option?
@SunFlower700
I feel like a conversation could be good, as it may give me some idea of what led to this. Of course she said a bunch of stuff when she broke up, but it was more accusations than explanaitions. So if a conversation could happen it may be for the best, but I feel like it would have to be on her terms not mine. There's a part of me that hopes she will text me again at some point wanting to talk or discuss where her and I can go from here. It's hard because of the other people that were involved in everythnig (talking about me etc.) and it may make it tough to have that discussion.
If I was to tell her that I truly never meant to hurt her, and what my situation and such was, what would be the best way to approach it? Because I have to see her still, I don't want to create any extra undue tension between us. But do I have a chance to possibly make amends? Do exes ever come back even after saying they wouldn't etc.?