I hate the down days
My boyfriend and I broke up almost a month ago. He dumped me. The relationship has been rocky for a while. Honestly this is probably the 5th time he’s “ended it” but the difference now is that I’m not chasing. He’s blocked on everything and even returned all of my stuff when I wasn’t home. At first I was so angry that I was living my “best life”. I reconnected with friends. I’m reading every advice column I can find searching for something that makes me feel better. I know this is a rollercoaster, and I have to ride it out, but I get so frustrated at my “bad days”. There isn’t a minute that goes by that I don’t think about him and it’s pissing me off. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, I should want to run as far away as I can...but, I still miss the shit out of him. I’ll go a day feeling semi-okay, then the next day I’m a damn train wreck. Man I can’t wait until this doesn’t hurt so much so often! Thanks for listening!
@lillorenzo23 It's gonna alright. Sometimes, it's only in a relationship ending that people are able to grow, to find themselves, to push themselves to do more and to do better. It's ok to miss him and it's ok to feel like you've lost something important because in many ways you have. But even though you can't quite see it yet you have to believe that you'll find love again, you'll be happy again, that it won't always hurt. There's a quote that said "Hope is like the sun; if you only believe in it when you can see it you'll never make it through the night." Have hope. The sunrise is coming.
@ShadesBluer
Your words made me cry. The thing is waiting for the sun to come out.
@lillorenzo23
I relate to this in so many ways. I just recently found the courage to block him and my bad days have been non stop. I pretend I am fine because i think i can fool my heart and mind, but that doesn't seem to work. Because when I have moments of silence there comes the pain.
I am sorry I cannot write some encouraging words for you. If it was up to me I would give you a hug to give you some warmth you deserve.
I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you, honestly sometimes just knowing you aren’t insane because other people have the same thoughts and feelings is comforting in itself. I think I feel insane sometimes cause it’s like, one minute I’m thinking I don’t need this, deserve better, and will be happy on my own. The next minute I’m thinking about the past, what he’s thinking or feeling, and just want to try and mend things. I just can’t wait until the point comes where I don’t think of either and I’m just okay. I’m sure it’s probably the same for you so if you ever need support just reach out.
@lillorenzo23
What a fast respose :) I am here too if you ever want to talk.
I also had another toxic relationship before, but some how this time it is worse. I just want to fast forward.
What do you do to keep yourself distracted? And what to do when there is nothing to do and your mind goes crazy?
Honestly, I’ve been listening to YouTube videos about the breakup process and feelings to make myself feel normal. I read a lot about it and how to process the emotions. Listen to podcasts. Talk to friends and family even though they’re probably all tired of hearing about it by now. I’m frustrated I don’t feel any better after a month, but I guess this is just the process tbh. I hate it just as much as you do, but at some point we’re gonna be on the other side of it.
@lillorenzo23
I don't have any friends to talk to and with my family I can't talk about him, so that is why I joined this site. But you idea about listening to podcasts and watching all the videos might help. I will give them a try and then maybe I can recommend something to you too. I started working out at home because they say the endorphines help you, but I only find myself crying in sweatpants doing the pilates moves. Anyway, I hope you sleep better and have a good day tomorrow. Hugs
I'm in a very similar situation as you - got broken up with 1 month ago, still feeling very hurt and angry at times. We still live together although we have created a lot of space and limited our interactions greatly. It has been really rough and some nights I just feel like I can't handle it. Please feel free to message me if you'd like to vent!