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I can’t move on

softserve April 11th, 2021

Hi everyone. Recently my girlfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. It’s the it’s not you it’s me situation where she just lost interest(I wasn’t what she was looking for). She was my first relationship so maybe that’s why I’m in so much pain. I still love her so much and I’m still can’t stop thinking about her. Everything around me and everything outside reminds me of her because we’ve shared so many memories together and I tried so many new things with her. I miss her so much but I know there is nothing I can do to bring her back. People change so I understand where she is coming from. I just don’t want to accept that. Looking back at what we had, everything was going super well. The breakup sort of happened out of no where. She’s already moving on but I don’t want to move on from her. It hurts like crazy and I’ve been crying so much. This is the first time in my life where I’ve cried like this and its just so painful. I’m scarred for life and I don’t know what to do. Nobody will ever compare to her. She was perfect for me and now the bar is set so high. Idk what I’m doing anymore. I find repetitively talking about it therapeutic. I already know what I have to do but I don’t have the strength to do it. What are some tips to help me? I’ve tried what I usually enjoyed but those were also associated with her. I’m suffering. Thanks for listening to my talk.

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youbrokemefirst911 April 12th, 2021

Hi, we’re currently experiencing the same thing 😟. How are you coping? How long’s the break up now?

1 reply
softserve OP April 12th, 2021

It’s only been a few days :(. My usual coping methods aren’t working as well. So much pain

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friendlycupp April 12th, 2021

It's okay to cry it takes time to heal, just like my sister her boyfriend just left her and she suffered a lot coz it was her first relationship, and now she's finally happy and moved on. Just don't rush.

1 reply
softserve OP April 12th, 2021

I’m glad your sister is happy now! Yea it’ll take a long time for me to recover :(. I just hope i can find happiness later in life. Thank you for the input, I appreciate it

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softserve OP April 12th, 2021

Hi everyone, just wanted to post a little update. I am doing better. I’ve come to understand and accept the reasons why it was best that we both separated paths. I’ve learned to appreciate everything she’s done for me and now I’ll take those memories and grow from them. It still hurts like crazy which is expected because it shows how much I cared for her and it’s natural. I’m starting to slowly get back into some hobbies and do what I usual did before the breakup. Memories keep flooding in but instead of breaking down I just feel an appreciation for those memories. I will keep on reaching out to others instead of fighting this on myself. That’s all for now. Good luck to you all too

2 replies
MrSeansible April 13th, 2021

@softserve

Hi there, I just wanted to comment and say that I know exactly how you're feeling right now. I lost my first and only love about 5 months ago and it caught me completely and totally by surprise. It also didn't take her long to move on which devastated me even more than the breakup itself, I think.

When you care for someone that much, and things seem to be going great, you're convinced that they feel exactly the same. It's the "you can never know for sure, 100%" thing that's bothering me the most now. You want to feel like you can trust your own judgement, but I guess at the end of the day you really can't know what's going on in someone elses head. I've tried to become more comfortable with that fact and to work on my own resilience and self-love. I think those are key after something like this. You hear people say it all the time and I realize now that they do it for a good reason.

I still haven't managed the self-love thing too well myself yet but I'm going to try my best to get there. It sounds like you're already bouncing back and handling this well, so I hope you have a smooth recovery and that you can get to where you want to be soon. Good luck!

1 reply
softserve OP April 13th, 2021

Thanks friend. Im actually still hurting like crazy :(. I really thought I could be strong and progress, but I miss her so much. I don’t think I’ll ever move on from loving her. No one will compare to her and I don’t want to go through this pain again. I think that’s ok though. I’m going to try to move on by finding other things that makes me happy. Although it is really hard to find the motivation to do so in my current state. My ex is also moving on faster than I expected which makes the pain worse. I’m slowly starting to accept the reality, and starting to take small steps forward. The pain is just so much though. I wish u the best of luck as well in these times

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Fairwind0204 April 19th, 2021

@softserve

I feel your pain. My heart goes out to you. I recommend reading Exaholics by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby. I signed on to this site based upon her recommendations. Time will heal you if you let it.