I Don’t Knkw What Went Wrong

My husband and I have been together for 4 years. Our marriage has always been rocky but since we share the same religious faith, we’ve been able to work things out, apologize and change where we needed.

in the last two months we’ve been drifting apart. He changed his hygiene habits, I caught him with drug paraphernalia

(he’s a drug addiction) , I caught one of our condoms in his school backpack (he has given me several answers to why) he has been deleting messages from women, our sex life became nonexistent and he became very antsy and defensive. If I apologized for something that made him mad, he would call it insincere and say I don’t mean it. He has threaten to leave me several times, called me a b****, and asked me to leave our home or shut me out of his office by locking the door.

A week ago he really left. He packed up his stuff and never looked back. He said he may not be attracted to me anymore and that he has been thinking about this for a long time.

I go through so many emotions through out the day. I have several people from my church and families and friends and they have been so comforting. But when I come home, I cry and scream because I’m just reminded of all this home is supposed to represent and the future that won’t happen.

Right now I’m trying to handle things with a car, since he took it, and without knowing how long will he help me with bills and our mortgage. It’s nerve racking and makes my already anxiety disorder and hormonal imbalance worst.

With all that said I still love him, but I know there’s no immediate future for us. He has things to work through and I know I have a lot of rebuilding to do.