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Heartbreak
Endlessummer03 April 5th, 2022
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I broke up with my long term boyfriend about 4 months ago. There were many things about him I wish were different. I let him know when I was unhappy yet he didn’t seem to care so I left. Fast forward, the break up was very hard and emotional for me. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life because we did have so many good memories together, but I couldn’t stand to be treated like that any longer.


fast forward, he was messaging daily or at least a few times a week about changes he was making, he was going to therapy regularly, got medication for depression and ptsd, and said he was doing all the things I had complaints about. (Strengthening the relationship with his son, managing his anger, drinking less, saving money, taking care of his house and cooking, and etc).

he said he was working on all of this so he could be a better man for me.

i moved states when I left him, but he found an opportunity near me and is supposed to be moving here in 3 weeks and has been non stop talking about how he wants to be the perfect man for me, marry me, hasn’t looked at any one else this whole time and only cares for me, etc.


well, yesterday I asked my friend who still lives near him to confirm if she has seen him with anyone to verify his story. She let me know he has been in a relationship with the same girl for about 3 months now. She sees them at the gym and at our weekend hang out spot. She showed me the girl’s posts about him, she said she has found the “love of her life” “her person” “there is no one else I’d rather wake up to or go to sleep with at night” and how she is so lucky to have him and all that mushy bull crap.


i am completely shell shocked. He really had me beleiving that he was changing, working on his mental health and wanted to be with me. I was starting to fall for him and all the flattery he was throwing my way.

i can’t believe how stupid I am for trusting him and beleiving him. The fact he can be in a relationship so soon after I dumped him, he can blatantly lie to me on daily FaceTime/phone calls/ texts and etc??

i am shocked, heart broken, completely sick to my stomach. I couldn’t sleep last night. I can’t focus on work. I need help.

4
Lifeonmars787 April 5th, 2022
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Hey, I totally understand how you feel. It must be hard for you to accept, you thought there would still be a future with this person but unfortunately it wasn't. Don't blame yourself for all of this, there was no way you could imagine something like this, but luckily you know the reality, and even if it's tough, it's better than living in an illusion. It may take some time to get better and make peace with what happened, remember that you are not alone - you can connect with a listener at any time or consider therapy if necessary. Take care.


Endlessummer03 OP April 6th, 2022
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Thank you. As the day has gone on and the initial shock has worn off, I am taking comfort in realizing the person I wanted him to be for me and the person he was painting a picture of to “win me back” or hurt me (I’m not sure his intention.) that person doesn’t exist. In reality he is a slimy liar, was keeping me as a back up option, and doesn’t deserve any more time wasted on him.

sadsally April 6th, 2022
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omg what a jerk! happy you recognized his shenanigans.

rationalBlueberry6956 August 17th
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Hi @Endlessummer03, just saw your post as I just joined 7 cups. I know 2.5 yrs have passed since, but I just wanted to let you know that I truly hope you're doing way better and that the passage of time will have helped you immensely. Cheers from another heartbroken fellow

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