Grieving from a Particularly Rough Break Up

My two most recent long term relationships were with women with mental illness. One I was married to for 13 years the other just ended after 2 and a half. The first one in my opinion couldn't be saved but I still feel the most recent one could. But mental illness does terrible things to people and while many of us love unconditionally, the person suffering often can't love themselves enough to try again or to even face their problems. This isn't your fault and there is little that you can do. The realization that there is nothing you can do will eventually give you comfort that you made your best effort. We can't change people. They have to want to change themselves and get help. I know I tried so hard to balance out my most recent exes highs and lows. But the lows came too often and the highs brought challenges that I never expected. Lending the olive branch and offering friendship is often too much for these people and I too now suffer from being blocked from her life. Her friends however keep in contact with me as they also acknowledge that this is her doing and her wrongs that she needs to fix. Don't spend time holding hope for her for too long. Save that hope for yourself. You need that hope that you will find someone who loves you as much as you love them. The fact you are sad means you loved them and you were doing the right things. You will love again. Take care.

I know you are right. I just wish that things were different. I know she’s getting help, but I doubt she will ever be stable enough to be a partner to someone.

I feel that statement. My exes friends feel the exact same way about my ex. Within a week of the breakup she was already looking to replace me and according to her friends was terribly upset with herself and her situation. It sometimes hurts to be right and I know I am still hurting from it. Even her mom still talks to me... Some people can't be saved. :(