Getting over ex - I'm stuck!! Help
I'm struggling today. Been a year since my long-term ex & I broke up. He was a selfish idiot (but didn't cheat) & I felt he left me no choice but to end it even though I didn't want to. I have regrets about how I handled it & still love him as much today as when it ended - just can't seem to shake him off! He moved on in a matter of weeks with a new GF who he's buying a house with. We were together longer & didn't do this. Makes me feel used, like he never cared or loved me & although I have no contact with him now (my choice - thought it best for me to get over him) I can't seem to live on even though it's been 12 months. What can I do to stop loving him & thinking about him???
@turquoiseMelon3285
You have to be rational. The heart might not want to let it go, so you have to use logic.
What does he bring to your life? Does he bring any source of happiness? Would it be good long run?
From what you said here he was quite the jerk and really didn't give a damn how you felt moving on so quickly.
You might love him but you have to love yourself more. Allow yourself to feel sad about it but never ever consider having him in your life again.
he's an ex for a reason! So trust your instincts, trust the initial decision you made
Best of luck :)
Thanks for the reply @Booklover95 it's nice to know someone is out there for support. It's been a rough day today.
i know you're right - I deserve better. But he did bring a lot of happiness to my life. Yes he was a jerk at the end but I think that perhaps what he didn't wasn't worth me ending it. Too late for that now though as I've lost him. He moved on quickly I think because like many people he can't be alone, although he must be happy with her because he's buying a house with her. That hurts. And it hurts that he is now happy & has found love with someone else while I'm still struggling to get over him & cant imagine loving anyone else.
But I will try & be more rational & accept that it's ok to love him & feel sad but also to not be with someone who doesn't deserve me. It's tough going sometimes though! Thank you for your kind words 👍🏻
Hi,
I know your going through tough time with the break up. I understand everything in terms of your feelings and emotions through this. I know it's easy said than then done.
You have done the right thing by deleting him. You don't wanna have him on your friends list as a potential friend. He's an ex and a ex for a reason.
Everyday will be hard but the longer you don't text him the easier it will get. Things will start to get easier and improve ahead of time but I world recommend being around people like family and friends for support. Keeping busy also is a must and talking to someone if you feel down will help you put your mind at rest.
Don't think your an awful person or the worst partner ever. The worst things happen to the best of the people. Your ex may of moved on but maybe you were the best gf he ever had him moving on just a way to hurt you. Just think of it in that situation.
Hugs
One thing that helps me, is a bit self minimizing to some extent. I think often of old situations that I was stuck in, but then when I made a hard but smart decesion, I feel proud of myself. Even if you can think of something simple, like a time when it was hard to do something, but you did it anyway for the better, you will be able to reflect and be proud. I am always able to look back at past relationships very thankful for them to have happened and ended. without the experiences of those bad relationships I would never know on how to handle my current one, I have high expectations for myself and my bf and I am okay with that.
I like to tell myself, and friends needing help, when they are stuck in something bad, or want something back that was not the best for them, think about how their future self would not be proud. Use this moment for yourself, so you can look back and say to yourself, you over came this, you thought you couldnt do it but you did, and it is going to be so hard, but even look at what your family or friends would say. It is never fun letting down the people you love, so perhaps do it for them, which is actually doing it for yourself, bc the people that love you want to see you persevere through this.
Accept that you miss what was, and accept that you love him, but you also need to accept that this is not the best. Dont block your feelings out, instead redirect them and use them as a learning experience, that you can use to look back on one day and be proud of yourself
My story is this. I met my ex back in 2013, we were happily togeteher for jsut about 4 years, we did everthing together, she was in love with me and me with her. I was staying at her hosue about 4-5 days a week.
anyway last June, she decided to end it,claiming she was unhappy, there was no cheating atall and not that many rows,
I was going trhough a diffucult time with out side pressures, Anyway sine we have split, I have found increasinly diffiucult to stop thinking about her. Its been over 7 months now and we have both have new partners, however I still think about her everday, I even sent her a text yesterday,in which she responded by asking me not to text her anymore, I feel such a twat I also feele realy guilty as my new partner is not aware that I still have these feelings towards my ex. I just wish I coulld wipe the memories of the ex from my head but I cant. we bulit up to many good memories over that 4 year period, Their is also the add complication That she knows my best freinds and sees them on a regular bases, Christ what do I do, I staring to get realy depressed about this break up. I know I should be over it by now,