Don’t know what is going on with me

I’m feeling this way right now. We were together for 3 years and it’s been two days since our breakup. I feel so broken and devastated. I texted him asking him if we can work on things. He said he needs time to process everything. Which isn’t giving me much hope that we will be back together.

Oh, honey. Thanks for the response. I am so sorry that you are also going through something like this. I am just thinking about the time when everything will finally be resolved and I will finally feel peace of mind. But the only thing left to do is wait. Sometimes it is unbearable.

Goodness I resonate with this so much!! From the first time he broke down in front of me, I was thinking goodness he may really need time to find and work on himself like I did after my first serious relationship. But he didnt accept that and wanted me to stay. I wanted to stay too. And I thought about leaving multiple times. It hurt deeply each time he did. Weve also agreed to meet later. Next year at the concert we had planned on going to. This time around he broke it off while living together. It's been a month and its turned into not so casual sex. I say not so casual cause we both have feelings. Itd be so much easier if this was a simple case of cheating or treating the waitress terribly. But it's not and I have to accept that we both need time to figure ourselves out. Both need to figure what what we want out of a relationship and if that makes a match. I apologize if this seems like I'm making it about me, I'm trying to show why I feel so much of your post and maybe you can draw some knowledge from my experience. The last time he broke it of with me was for space and because he was trying to work on himself. We stayed friends throughout and I very well might've just guilted him into coming back because he did feel bad for me and he did want to be around. But he was setting aside some of his personal work there. It's important to be a strong independent person. A relationship does not make you whole. It does certainly fill in those lonely spots but it does not make you. I should've let him go last time to figure it out. Maybe I would've had a real shot this time. Getting someone back temporarily is easy. Keeping them is the hard part. So, I'm just trying to say, think about the long term. Really reflect on you and him. What are your values and needs? Figure out the core of them and Dont set them aside. Dont be ashamed of them. What was good and what was bad ? What did you dislike and liked? How important are these things? If your thinking of them they must mean something... what is that? What did he like and dislike? Can the issues be remedied without changing the person? Dont compromise yourself in the process. You'll figure it out from there what is the long term probability of this. I know I need to consider all of that too...Hope this helps. 🤗🤗

I am so grateful that you are sharing your experience and your point of view here. It’s incredibly important for me and it really helps me a lot with self-reflection.

You're welcome! And if you ever need to talk more, I'll be around :)