Dealing with heartbreak when there is seemingly no reason
Backstory- I’m 36, he’s 35, don’t want kids, met organically, connected instantly, opposite enough but compatible to a T. Everyone said to us individually how happy we were. He even told his parents, barber, anyone who would listen he finally knew what love was and wanted to marry me. We went across the country together and everything when went wrong on the trip bht it didn’t bother us. We’ve only dated since January. Officially broken up in July. My friends are sick of hearing about it. But it just doesn’t feel right to me. I’ve expressed this to him jn many ways and his response at first was you’re right what am I doing we are so happy and it’s so had to find but I stopped the messages and paragraphs, did no contact for 5 days and he just watched my stories the minute he got off work. Back to where it started to go wrong. why would a man who, at 35 said and showed me what true love was suddenly had a series of crap happen in his life and pushed me away (working nights (rotation started he will go back to days soon actually) and doubles. Lost a relative that taught him everything he knew, then another one all in the span of about a week. Since then it’s been on and off and he tries to let me in and I get glimpses of him when he’s not getting 3 hours of sleep. My breaking point was after 2 wonderful days together, him looking me in the eyes tearing up saying thank you for not giving up on me I’m trying this how I was raised I don’t know why I’m the way I am to him ignoring me on the bday in front of his family and I just had enough. I said is be there for him but he has not contacted me. I went up and got my stuff, demanded it and he didn’t want to see me but he forgot some, he could barely look me in the eye, I asked him if he still loved me or ever did and he said he will be lying if he said he didn’t. He hugged me and said take care of yourself,‘please drive safe and looked at me with the saddest eyes. That was last tuesday. I removed him as a follower but he was still watching my stories so i asked why and was left on read. He just ignored me. Finally blocked him and I feel better not obsessively checking but still empty. How could you make someone’s so happy (everyone told him) and then push someone away? I also had a shared album of things of our trip and other memories he looked at after he got out of work too but I took those links away because I have to put myself first. People think I’m crazy for not giving up hope but it’s hard when we want the same future, had so much fun and both have never been happier. Not sure what I’m looking for ❤️ but anything to either face the music or some hopeful stories. I’m realistic and I know.. I know.. and I’ve been in 6 year 5 year relationships but nothing has hurt me like this one nor make me happier. -hopeful and real🍀
