Am I mean?

@Katscrytoo

No it isnt wrong. Actually its good because you tried to still be friends and he didnt want that so if hes gonna be all mean and selfish about it, thats all on him and its his wrongdoing, not yours. You did the best thing possible. And sorry to hear about that by the way. You deserve better. Sorry if this didnt help, it just trying to get my opinion across on this. You shouldnt feel bad about something he caused. He put you in a bad situation anyway

@RecoveringFlower

Thank you, it does help. Sometimes I just need a reminder that I can care for myself first rather than others.

@Katscrytoo

Exactly. Do what

@Katscrytoo Exactly. It doesn't make you mean and it is perfectly fine to be a little selfish - you are important and matter and must take care of yourself

@ninetaleslove

Thank you

@Katscrytoo

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

So this guy broke up with me a year ago. He was very selfish and mutipulative. (You didn't deserve to go through something like this, I'm glad this relationship ended awhile ago, you deserve to be happy). He still wants to talk to me but I don't know why because he broke up with me. (It's understandable that you are wondering why he still wants to talk with you after the breakup, but it's probably a selfish reason of his). After we broke up I tried to still be friends but he didn't want to talk to me. Now he tells me I'm being an asshole for not talking to him and being mean. (He is being rude and disrespectful by talking to you like this. You have a choice of choosing to talk with a person or not, no one can take away that right from you. This is a way to impose his will and what he wants on you, its an manipulative and abusive tactic he is using to twist your hand into talking with him) I feel like what I'm doing is justified. (You are very very very justified in doing this). He broke up with me because he wanted my body and I didn't want that. He told me I was turning into what I hated most. (He is projecting how he feels on you)I don't know why but that really bothers me. Im being mean because I don't want to have problems like that again. Is it wrong for me to do that? (I believe this is gaslighting?, he is doing and saying things to make you look like the bad person here, when he is the one who is the bad person. You are justified in ignoring and blocking him, he is in the wrong here by not respecting what you want)

@freshLight64

Thank you. I'm glad that I'm able to get the perspective of other people to know that I am not in the wrong. I've always been a people pleasers. But now that I've stopped, the people I use to call friends do not understand me anymore.

@Katscrytoo,

You have all the right to be happy and appreciated !You do what's best for you because YOU MATTER !Don't forget it!Never feel guilty for wanting to take care of you first!If you have the chance ,try reading g something on co-dependency issues,y on should go through some healing to stop feeling guilty for standing your ground.The more you heal,the .the fewer problematic people you will have in your life.Y on will not. accept ring treated in this way!Have a nice weekend and take care!

@intellectualCake2979

Thank you. You too :)

I am sorry about the misspelt words!Should have checked my spelling before posting it! :)

@Katscrytoo

you're not mean AT ALL. you're dealing with an abuser. They never admit their mistakes and always spin the guilt towards the victim.

Read the key words you wrote "manipulative" . Once a partner points the finger at you and verbally abuses you when everything is done between the two and you're moving on, that's manipulation and a huge red flag.

He wants you back because is convinient. No one in this world wants to be with an abusive partner. Of course he doesn't think it's his fault but we all know it is.

You're 100% entitled to move on. You aren't obligated to keep any sort of contact, specially after him denying your friendship (although if I were you I would stay super far away from him... people like that are the most toxic ones).

I hope you can move on and realise not even 1% of it is your fault. Is all his.

Best of luck.

@Booklover95

Thank you :)