Make a little space, Make a better place

Many of us must have cherished the presence of @lueurspace

What do I say about them, they are a talking kindness. If the character quality Kindness could speak, that would be lueurspace talking. I do not know how they do this, but they are always generous with their kindness, in chatrooms and in PMs.

Let’s hear from our honorable and sweet guest today, lueurspace!

If you were free to be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be and what would you be doing?

I think I'd like to be at home the most right now. I'm at my university campus at the moment and I'm missing my home and my family a lot! I'd hug them super tight and just be close to them. It's really true, sometimes distance makes your heart grow fonder.

What is the sky that you want to stretch to? In other words, what’s the dearest pursuit of your life?

This is such a lovely question! I absolutely love it. My deepest pursuit is to become a clinical psychologist and teach at a university as a professor. I just love academia and psychology; helping people and being there for them. I'm also interested in the research area which I know I'll explore a lot of. Ever since I was a kid, I have loved pretending to be a teacher and learning, so I really hope I can become someone I'm proud of in the future! :)

What is ‘progress’ for you?

Ooh you have such amazing questions, haha. Progress for me is sort of anything which isn't stagnant.

Sometimes even taking a step back from something is progress, because it's good to take a break, to let yourself off a responsibility that you're not able to take at the moment. And you're always going to move forward too, that's how life works - it goes on, and you can choose to go with it or acknowledge when you're not wanting to continue on the path you have set on. As long as you're doing something, even something very little, I think you're making progress, whichever direction it is. It's never too late.

What is regress (opposite of progress) for you?

Stagnancy. I believe staying at one point isn't that awful, it isn't something one should feel guilty about, but I prefer having a space where I'm completely at a place where I feel accomplished. When I take a step back, I remind myself that I have come very far and it's a victory I need to appreciate, the same goes when I take a step forward. But refusing to change, to adapt, and think differently - I think that's when regress happens. You just get stuck (and there's nothing wrong with it, we all just need some time). Just know that with time you'll grow, even if it's not as you've planned. The universe has a plan for you. Always.

What life values light up the pathways of your life?

There are a lot but I think some of the important ones are -

1. Authenticity. I'll be honest, I'm not the most authentic person but I'm trying so hard to be. I'm learning to speak my truth, to be myself even if it means I'm standing not in favor of others. I need to be me.

2. Honesty. I wouldn't really want to lie to anybody ever. And sometimes the truth makes people uncomfortable but I'd much rather be true than be nice. Still learning though.

3. Self-reliance. I'm a huge advocate for reaching out for support when you need it but I'm equally always encouraging others to be their own support, as much as one is able to be. Sometimes you do need help from others but know that at the end of the day, you are the one who gets you out of bed, who is there when you cry, and who knows you better than anyone else.

4. Being present and doing things wholeheartedly whenever you can. I want myself to be present and not worry about the future or ruminate. It's very important for me to do things wholeheartedly, to put my all into them, and just do what *I* want to do. Because then it's never the issue that I'm not listening to myself. You should always do what you want to do, not what someone else wants you to do.

If you could list some of your major learning in your entire cups journey so far, what would that list be?

Ooh okie so some things that I'd definitely want to add to my list are -

1. Reach out for support! It's always okay to talk to others about what's on your mind. It's a mental health support site, that's really what you're here to provide and *receive* for yourself. If it's related to your listener role, reach out to a mentor or a peer support. If it's a personal issue, know that you have the complete right to anonymously seek help as a member. It's not just a choice, it's your very purpose of being on this site.

2. Try to get involved in the community. I know having roles can seem too much work at times, but it provides you with so many wonderful lessons! Being in a team really helps you - it brings such amazing people into your contact and seriously, I have learned more from others than I ever could by myself.

3. There are going to be challenges and you'd want to give up. It's okay! Just know that before deciding it's not for you, talk to someone. Know that if it's something that a listening ear can help with, we got your back! But it's really also okay to pause, to take a "self-care" break as many times as you'd like. Even when you decide to leave, know that what you're leaving behind has your imprint and people will remember it even if it doesn't seem like it.

4. Active Listening is really all that you need to focus on. I don't know how many times I have underestimated the power of simply actively listening, and seen others do it too. Just know that trying to put yourself in others' shoes, reflecting on what they're saying, asking good open-ended questions, and being the right amount of professional and friendly - this is ALL you need. I have had such meaningful conversations with both listeners and members like this. Just listen - I promise it's worth it.

Lastly, lueur, what growth do you envision for cups and cups community?

I really think Cups does so much for its own growth and the people who have been chosen as admins, ambassadors, and other leaders do such a great job of taking accountability and actually listening to the community. Leaders really bring about the change we see, and our leaders are beyond appreciable. I admire everyone so much here. Cups is only going to grow in number, hopefully, even broaden the training it offers its listeners, have more leaders and I'd just want people to get support, anyone and everyone who's in need of it. I'm very optimistic about where cups is leading towards and I'm happy to be a part of it ❤️

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This interview is part of the Living with Leaders Interview Series. Learn about the series here