Can Couples Counseling Prevent Divorce?
“Couples therapy is certainly not a magic pill, and one or two sessions will not cure all that ails your relationship. Let’s be realistic about whether it’s a good idea for you to pursue counseling. Marital stress and problems will not go away by themselves, although many couples sweep the difficulties under the rug for months or years. Sadly, this just creates a mountain of problems that divide the two of you, and at some point, one of you will lose the motivation to work at fixing the marriage. John Gottman has said that many couples come to therapy six years too late. If you wait too long, the problems may have extinguished your willingness to solve them. But if you have even just a few embers, counseling can help you bring back the heat and warmth you need in your relationship.
When
couples therapy does not work
- If there is unmanaged violence or abuse.
- If either you or your partner is involved in another romantic relationship.
- When there are secrets that must be shared. A therapist will not hold secrets for you but may be able to help you disclose something you are afraid to disclose.
- If there is a psychiatric or other condition that would prevent one of you from being able to participate in therapy.
- If one or the other of you refuses to participate in therapy.
It is important to find a qualified, licensed therapist who has expertise in marital therapy. Look for therapists who have specialized training in couples work, such as EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), or Gottman approaches. Interview several therapists before hiring one. Think of it as a job interview for the therapist. Many will offer a brief phone consultation at no cost.
According to research from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), 98% of couples who go to couples counseling say their therapists are either “excellent” or “good.” 90% report improvement in their emotional health and 66% say their physical health improves. Finally, almost 75% of couples see improvements in their relationships after couples therapy.”
Read the whole article at Psychology Today.
#Relationships #Marriage #Divorce #Counseling
💬 What do you think about couples therapy? When would you consider it?
