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my doggerel (written while depressed)

slowdecline48 May 31st, 2023
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Did this one today...


LAMENT, MARCH 2023

Stare at the ceiling as the earth whirls blindly in the dark
as you lay there, ears ringing & head pain, as always
as your head hurts, spreading middle girth
Cold inside, halted, without a spark.

The occasional note as your gut slowly drains
from the meal of bolted flour, cheese, olives,
a manmade ration for the bipedal swine herd
Another day ebbs, another evening gains.

Stare at the ceiling as daily you know
Knowing inescapable: you're past the prime
the bald fact, always without tact,
Faded mirror never fails to show.

Staring upward as the ball hurtles in the black
around the hot bright mindless sun,
your stare as unseeing as the rock itself
a captive in a slowly rotting sack.


Feel free to comment, folks. Whaddaya think? I might post more poems here as the inspiration (for lack of a better word) strikes.

123
Wozhenwuyul June 5th, 2023
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@slowdecline48 We often see words of encouragement printed on cards and posters. Words of encouragement are also frequently seen on social media websites, for example ***, Twitter, *** and many others.

slowdecline48 OP June 6th, 2023
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@Wozhenwuyul This sounds suspiciously like spam...

bestVase7265 June 6th, 2023
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You do get out your feelings nicely. That can help people see their feelings as normal.

Do you also write things when you are less depressed? I would include those as well because they can help people get inspired to get out of the depression wave. @slowdecline48

slowdecline48 OP June 6th, 2023
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@bestVase7265 Not normally, no. When I am not depressed my creative work is more active. Usually it's either sketching with ink & brush, or finished art, or some kind of DIY thing.

bestVase7265 June 7th, 2023
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It is interesting how your brain processes different emotions so differently, isn't it? @slowdecline48

slowdecline48 OP June 7th, 2023
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INVENTORY

When you wake up, take inventory:
what parts hurt, what parts still work
This is the ritual, always done
no matter your belief: god, Jesus, Elvis
before putting on your shirt:
Note what works & what still hurts.

After you get up:
go to the bathroom, nowhere else
(you might have to run...the only thing
you still do like a child) as the
lower tract demands it, always:
It creates its own personal ***.

After sound & stink:
put the didofenac gel on aged fingers
maybe the rest of your hands if you need
dollar store cream on at least one joint
(usually two), no exception indeed
so the pain will not linger.

Then to food if you can cook.
If not & you've forethought,
get something from the freezer
if not, then head to the nearest
gas station/convenience store...
"food" without goodness, plastic you bought.

Eat like a cow, because that is easiest
then go about your day, like
numberless days before it.

slowdecline48 OP June 30th, 2023
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A haiku:

Tools on the table
lie there, unused, for the same
cause: pain, vertigo.
bestVase7265 July 1st, 2023
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So many meanings there. @slowdecline48

slowdecline48 OP July 2nd, 2023
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Yeah, I'm a regular Zen master... But seriously, it always surprises me when someone looks at my work & sees more levels of meaning in it than I had intended. A bunch of chisels really are laying on my drafting table right now 😝 ...gonna try to tune 'em up & fix a few of the handles this coming week.

bestVase7265 July 3rd, 2023
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I think that is what poetry is...seeing stuff other people didn't. It is great how just a few words can have even more possible meanings than tons of words.@slowdecline48

SweetPea321 July 3rd, 2023
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Oh I love poems. Thank you. I looked up at my popcorn ceiling after reading that and scowled at how ugly it was. Stupid bumps lol.


slowdecline48 OP July 9th, 2023
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@SweetPea321 I hear that...

SweetPea321 July 9th, 2023
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Are you married or do you have a muse? I'm divorced and enjoying being single for now. Perhaps in my golden years I'll meet the love of my life since dating is not an option for me now. All of my time and energy goes to my autistic child.

slowdecline48 OP July 9th, 2023
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@SweetPea321 No, no wife or muse here. There was a time when I wanted to settle down but that didn't pan out, & eventually I had to let her go. We were friends for a while afterwards, though...

My sympathies for you re that parenting....never sired any children myself (that I know of) but my cousin & his wife are still taking care of their son even with his being in his twenties. His autism is full-blown, so it's always been a job for them both.

SweetPea321 July 25th, 2023
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Hi @slowdecline48 If I knew you in real life, I'd ask to buy one of your hardwood canes and you could sign it for me.

I also hate the disturbing sound of fireworks when it's not the 4th of July.

MeaningfulSilence July 8th, 2023
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@slowdecline48

Hello there slowdecline, how are you doing?

It's not for everyone to have an artistic side, it makes you unique!

Wishing you a good weekend 💙

slowdecline48 OP July 9th, 2023
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@MeaningfulSilence I appreciate the check-in, thanks. Right now...eh. I'm okay.

It's hurricane season so the rain is as sudden & thorough as it is unpredictable. Haven't been able to work on the current wood project since the only place I can do it is out on the patio--half of which is uncovered. Whenever it's not pouring buckets or drizzling, it's too hot to be outside. I've been keeping occupied while cooped up.

Got music, which is good. Sometimes I catch up on my sleep.

MeaningfulSilence July 9th, 2023
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@slowdecline48

Hi alowdecline48!

Does the unpredictable bad weather of hurricane season last long? It's unfortunate that you can't work on your project. I love wood, it's one of my favorites! Yours seems an interesting project, is it a secret project or can I ask about it? 😊

Hope you can keep feeling okay, also if weather is not favorable.

Cheers !


slowdecline48 OP July 9th, 2023
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Hi there, @MeaningfulSilence! You seem like a cheerful person...that's a nice thing to be.

My current project is a cane. Managed to get a bit done on it early this morning after being awakened at around 0240 hrs this morning by some young fool setting off fireworks in the parking lot... At this point, all that's left is refining the tip, putting the endcap on it & then sanding it down & applying a finish. Thinking I might do an oil finish this time.

I am undecided about whether to post photos of it here. If I do then it will be in a separate thread.

Also it will be my 9th cane so far...started making them when my right knee started hurting in the early 2010's, & now I have additional health-related reasons. If you're gonna walk with a cane then please don't use one of those chintzy aluminum ones they sell at drug stores & Wally World, for the love of God....seriously. That junk doesn't last. You'll be lucky if you get five years out of one. A good hardwood cane can last for decades!

bestVase7265 July 10th, 2023
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Your canes sound beautiful and so meaningful. I am sorry that it is too hot now to work. It has been really warm for July this year. @slowdecline48

slowdecline48 OP July 17th, 2023
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@bestVase7265 & @MeaningfulSilence - I finally posted a few snapshots, though they're slightly dated by now. You can see them here. (Scroll down because they're near the bottom)

bestVase7265 July 18th, 2023
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You have quite the artistic eye. Beautiful. @slowdecline48

slowdecline48 OP July 19th, 2023
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Thanks. I do my best.

bestVase7265 July 20th, 2023
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You should be proud of yourself. @slowdecline48

slowdecline48 OP July 9th, 2023
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Another haiku:

Some young idi0t
Disturbed my bliss so I rose,
then put files to wood.
slowdecline48 OP July 13th, 2023
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Sleepless in OP

21st-century drug:

Internet, cell phones.

bestVase7265 July 14th, 2023
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Definitely @slowdecline48

indigo22 July 25th, 2023
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@slowdecline48 That was a very powerful piece of writing, you are very talented. I would love to read more of your writing. Writing can be a great way to express yourself. Do you find that it helps you? :)

slowdecline48 OP July 27th, 2023
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@indigo22 Thanks. Sometimes it does, yeah...

Phylomena July 25th, 2023
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Huh

RogueOne1983 July 25th, 2023
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@slowdecline48 Very impressive made me think.

You are talented!

slowdecline48 OP July 27th, 2023
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@RogueOne1983 If I made you think, great...I did some good this week.

RogueOne1983 July 27th, 2023
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@slowdecline48 You did.

How is carving that cane coming along?

slowdecline48 OP July 29th, 2023
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@RogueOne1983 Right now it's not coming along at all because Mother Nature is being a b***h & keeping everyone indoors.

The only place I can do woodwork is out on my patio. As half of the patio is open to the sky, when it rains (or when it's too hot. This heatwave is ridiculous) I can't get anything done out there. Luckily there are plenty of things to do inside my place...

RogueOne1983 July 29th, 2023
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@slowdecline48 Yep beat the heat what we are all doing pretty much.

I got acclimated last several years have things set up pretty well in my place I think.

Do what we can is all any of us can do!

slowdecline48 OP September 6th, 2023
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Another one for you, gentle reader...call it a "mixed prose poem":


DREAM WORLDS

When you're asleep, your core speaks.
Behind closed eyes it rises & shows you
your wants & fears wrought in unseen spheres,
All new yet oddly familiar strange truths...

Such as:


A small rundown-looking club on the side of an asphalt strip from & to nowhere, behind a cyclone fence. There is a generator inside, half-video poker slot machine & half Wurlitzer. You are one of the three on staff. You know how to keep it running.


An apartment of deep brown hardwood paneling, quiet & cozy. A chandelier in the living room, fine china. It is full of people you knew, returned to life, smiling when they see you...but some of them are still old.


Your bedroom, but darker...a clap of wooden boards struck together repeatedly, from everywhere. You don't know why you are there.


A flea market for blocks, an American bazaar at night. Street vendors & open shops with loud characters, & homeless people (yes, even in your dream). Whatever you want, someone there has it for a price.


Strange worlds seen only once

Or maybe again, if you ever recall

Until you wake, to the only world

That endures...under mortality's pall.

bestVase7265 September 7th, 2023
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What an interesting series of images to put together in your brain. @slowdecline48

slowdecline48 OP September 7th, 2023
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@bestVase7265 Thanks. These things happen after I nod off

bestVase7265 September 8th, 2023
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I rarely remember my dreams and I am always impressed by those that do. @slowdecline48

hitmeupimLayla October 13th, 2023
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@slowdecline48 This is really good, too bad it was made possible with bad feelings.