OUR ORIGINAL POETRY: Share It Here

I'm nothing without you

I'm noone special anyway but when i'm with you I feel different

I can be anything, do anything and I'm free

I suffer from BPD. I'm lonely. I'm scared. I'm falling. I'm losing myself. I'm self-isolating. And I just can't stop.

This isn't me. This isn't just a few 'off days'. I'm getting deeper and deeper in this rut.. I'm scared.

ROOMS

I walk into a room, a small room, too small for my thoughts to confine themselves.
The walls are white and bright, but the hidden stains from the past still show.
I walk into another room, a big room, too big for my sorrows to not hear their echoes.
The walls are stained red, but the true colour is still showing.
Are we like these rooms?

tiny sailboats
on an endless sea
the waves ebb and
flow, always dragging
one more down each
time it rises and falls.
when you take too long
to worry about them
vanishing, you start
forgetting about the
ones you have left.
make all of them count.

I wrote something like what follows some years ago when I lost my brother to suicide.

Alone I sit kissed by an early spring morn's chill

Light the mist blanket hovers the air so still

Memories dance like steam off my hot black cup

So long ago I followed him like a lost pup

This path he has taken I cannot follow

No time for self pity in which to wallow

Not a sound to be heard save one lone bird

They have but one life's mate so I've heard

It calls out to avail this one lone dove

Together we listen no response from above

Staring down from upon its perch at me

The brokenness of my soul can it see

The mournful coo a single tear in my eye

Mourning not for self but maybe for you and I

I live in haiku,

Pushing against the confines,

Seldom breaking through

Give Yourself a Bravery Award

If you aren't happy with your life, do something to change it.
If you can't, find someone who can help you.
If there's no one, wait a little while and look again.
If no one understands, teach them to speak your language.
If you are too tired to do anything, slow down and catch your breath.

If you've lost the memory of happiness, ask a friend where she saw it last.
If all your friends are away, try keeping yourself company.
If you feel completely alone, watch puppy videos on the internet.

If you lose your job, make the bank pay for a vacation.
If you flunk out of school, remember that it's not a race.
If you can't get out of bed, allow yourself a pajama day.
If every day is a pajama day, see how you feel in your clothes.
If your clothes don't fit, buy new ones to match your emotions.
If your body is unfamiliar, whisper that your self love is unconditional.
If you've hit rock bottom, declare yourself a superhero for staying alive.

If you have scars, give yourself a bravery award.
If your scars are invisible, wear your heart on your sleeve.
If you are afraid of what people will think, be thankful that you can't read minds.
If you can't find kindness in your heart, resolve to give it out as soon as it comes back.

If you lose your way, send up a flare.
If you don't know how to continue, make it up as you go along.
If you can't find a reason to keep going, get a second opinion.
If you think the sun will never shine again, invest in some night vision goggles.
If there is no light at the end of the tunnel, pull over and wait until morning.

Are they dreams or nightmares?

I'm not well enough yet to know.

Equally as scary as it was desired,

I wanted death not long ago.

My pleas for help went completely unheard,

Asking everyone I knew for mere company

Hell I didn't hear from anyone, not a word.

Death was once a welcomed guest

So close we came to officially meeting,

Now an unwanted pest.

I want to go back to dreaming happy things.

Our relationship is over, death, stay gone.

I now only want butterflies, bunnies, and cats with wings.

(My terrible attempt at rhyming. I woke up from a dream about death, and this- for the most part- popped out)

There are prison bars in my head

Made of ifs and buts and such stuff

Sometimes the time is not right

Sometimes I am not good enough

So I lie trapped in this prison waiting

For the sun to shine perfectly

Not too warm or too bright

Or too low for I freeze easily

And I wait in this prison praying

For the skies to be perfectly blue

Not a cloud too dark or too light

For clear blue skies is what I like

And I lie in this prison hoping

For the changes to be just perfect

Too big a change would overwhelm

Small changes would pass me by

And as I wait and pray and hope

These imperfect days slide by

With the too bright sun and sailing clouds

And small unexpected acts that make me smile

Maybe the time is not right

Maybe I am not good enough

Maybe it is imperfections

That makes this world go by

Maybe if I just breathe

My mind made prison walls would shrink

Maybe if you just sent a smile this way

The sun would shine perfectly… and all would be okay…

The Monster Within

As the curtains close
The shadows froze
Striking a frightening pose
Out of the dark, he rose

Don't let him in
If you do, he'll win
His face always displays an evil grin
As he's about to commit another sin

Stay away
I don't want to play
Please keep him at bay
While I pray for a better day

He looked at me
As I was no longer free
Brave I must be
It's getting harder to see

There is no trace left of the sun
And it's now too late to run
This won't be fun
It's begun