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Since I never met my parents, I never knew my heritage. Is it too late to, like, be that?

IIIcheshireIII July 31st, 2020
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I never met my parents, and I grew up in a bad place. I didn't have freedom to use the internet or talk to people like me or really even people my age. I didn't learn my ancestry until this year, after they tracked down my birth parents (my mom is dead and my dad wants nothing to do with me, so no help there.) and I don't really know anything about it. I'm apparently a third generation immigrant from Romania and Pakistan, (grandparents), and both sides of my family are Roma. I know NOTHING about this. I've never even HEARD of them until now. Due to how I was raised, my identity as a person was kinda stolen from me along with an potential of the person I COULD have been, and now that I've been taken from that place too, even though it was bad, I don't really know what to do or who I am. Is it okay to start looking into information and traditions from what my grandparents would have known and probably taught me if I'd known them, and accept that as part of who I am? It feels weird, and scary, and insincere, since I never ACTUALLY grew up with any of that, I don't actually understand or participate in any of these rituals. I wish I did, and I would have, I should have, but I didn't, and I don' t want to claim something that isn't mine. I'm nineteen. I wish my mom wasn't dead.

4
lunamum2 August 2nd, 2020
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@IIIcheshireIII

I believe your identity is however youre aligning with experiences. The person that is curious about their parents and longing to connect with your ancestry is you. The part of you that wants connection with others, to explore themselves and the world around them is you. I hear you that it sounds like youve had a poor environment for figuring this out and childhood is a super important time. Also im sure youre in a grieving process over this too. Still, there is more to come. More opportunities, and more chance for expansion. You're on the right track just bringing yourself to awareness. Keep on growin' =]

Stanlee00 August 2nd, 2020
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@IIIcheshireIII Sometimes things and situations mold who you are in life. Sometimes it's things you can't change if it had a positive or negative effect. BUT that's only sometimes. There are things you can change and become. You can become the person you want to be or fell could have been. It's not too late. It's fine to look into your heriotage/ ethnicity/ ancestry as long as YOU are content with it. Be the person you want to be.

Clover357 August 13th, 2020
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@IIIcheshireIII

You're not claiming something that isn't your own. This is your history. You're just unearthing your history.

I wish you all the luck in the world

IIIcheshireIII OP September 17th, 2020
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@Clover357 thank you. i can use as much luck as i can get.

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