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Light-Skinned POC Problems

FantasiaSweetShock May 9th, 2016

So for all my life I've struggled with the fact that due to my skin tone, I never really 'looked' like my ethnicity (I'm south Asian, if that helps). I've been called anything and everything under the sun-Italian, Latina, Greek, half-black, half-white, middle eastern, etc. And whenever I clarified my ethnicity-people either didn't believe me or gave a quick facial expression that seemed to represent disappointment and people seemed less interested in me after the fact. Which always sucked...

Now within my cultural background there colorism is a factor when it comes to beauty (I never agreed with it because I believe all skin colors are beautiful), especially with older generations. I always felt uncomfortable when people mentioned my paler skin tone in appreciation, because I thought it was an archaic way to view beauty and more importantly it felt that it further divided me between other girls in my ethnicity (I honestly have no friends from my own ethnicity, though I do outside of my culture but within my race). I know that it sucks more for darker girls out there, but us lighter girls still have struggles too.

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FantasiaSweetShock OP May 9th, 2016

@FantasiaSweetShock Originally there were some replies here but I can't see them anymore...

13 replies
FantasiaSweetShock OP May 9th, 2016

@FantasiaSweetShock Like just right now I got a notification that someone commented on this post but I can't see any responses

12 replies
23Q May 9th, 2016

@FantasiaSweetShock

hey thanks for sharing:) I never thought of it like this. You've shown me a different perspective in colorism. I'm a darker skinned girl btw

11 replies
FantasiaSweetShock OP May 9th, 2016

@23Q Oh thank god I can actually see your response. By any chance are you able to see anyone else who has responded to this thread? I was responding to someone earlier on this post but all the replies disappeared including my own. Plus I think another person commented according to a notification but I couldn't see it once I clicked it.

10 replies
23Q May 9th, 2016

@FantasiaSweetShock

No I don't see the other posts either. Right before I posted this message my app shut down...weird. Maybe they deleted their posts? That's what happens in other sites when the parent comment gets deleted, the replies do too.:/

9 replies
FantasiaSweetShock OP May 9th, 2016

@23Q Thanks for the info! Still getting used to this site, although the funny thing is that one person commented directly in the post above and I didn't delete that post. Its a shame because some of the replies were extremely thoughtful and interesting

8 replies
23Q May 9th, 2016

@FantasiaSweetShock

Oh man I'm sorry:/ I will admit I don't know much about the light skinned struggle, only that I was always jealous and used to wish I had lighter skin. But I've grown to love my dark skin now:) I'm sorry that you go through this crap because of your skin tone. Esp people turning your ethnicity into a game of charades:(

7 replies
FantasiaSweetShock OP May 9th, 2016

@23Q I think the whole game of charades is the worst part along with the fact that having lighter skin means that I'm apparently white-washed to some people (I mentioned this in an earlier post before it got deleted), which I don't think I am or not as much as people would assume. I understand that darker girls do have struggles and I sincerely hope you all get more representation and feel beautiful, but at the same time us light-skinned girls are often told that we are pretty just because we are light (which is in a way a bit insulting, because it feels that its my only redeeming quality or the one that stands out the most).

6 replies
23Q May 9th, 2016

@FantasiaSweetShock

I'm so sorry for the late reply!!!:( I had to help with dinner lol! Yeah I totally get you there about being coveted for your looks. You are more than your skin tone! Don't let people tell you that it's all you're worth trust me. People used to tell me "you know you're pretty for a dark skin girl" like wtf? You are not pretty because of your light skin so many other qualities and factors make you the beautiful person you are.

5 replies
FantasiaSweetShock OP May 9th, 2016

@23Q Oh no worries about replying late! But thank you for your kind words! I always really hate the 'you are pretty for a ____' or other variations on that statement

4 replies
23Q May 9th, 2016

@FantasiaSweetShock yeah it's a ridiculous blanket statement. It's disgusting how much value people place on it. To the point where I've seen people say they only date people this color or believe that being in a relationship with someone who's lighter or white will make them better or something. And I know that dark girls struggle but that in no way means you have to be ashamed of your struggle or down play it or "suck it up". So that's why I say thank you for sharing<3 I hear you

3 replies
FantasiaSweetShock OP May 9th, 2016

@23Q I've heard that too and it's so ridiculous...actually one of my biggest fears is this one guy who I liked a long time ago and who actually seemed to like me back (nothing ever happened because I'm so awkward) might have just only been interested in me because of my ethnic background (his now-ex girlfriend was had a similar background as me, and many of his friends were of that background at the time). Which would really suck because then the only guy who liked me in my life was just for my ethnicity

2 replies
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