One Mistake

When I was 18, I left college and didn't tell my parents I would be leaving... Or where I was going. I didn't know it at the time, but this one mistake would eventually become one of the biggest mistakes of my life. With only 15 bucks on me, a laptop and some clothes, I decided to become roommates with someone I met online.

I was starving for almost a week, looking for work. I've never had a job before and I knew I needed to pay the rent. I became so hungry that dog food started looking like a good option. That's the only thing my roommate had available because she only ever ate takeout. But I didn't want to take food from her dog. And what was I doing? It was literally dog food.

Long story short, I found work but it wasn't anything beneficial. I told myself anything would be better than being home, with an abusive father. But I should've stayed. Not only is a "missing person's" report plastered all over the internet with my pics, but after years of regret, I had a suicide attempt. With this, someone made a complaint about me that I had unauthorized weapon (a knife). So that is on the internet as well.

I tried to change my name, but the judge gave me a hard time because of the complaint against me. So I gave up. Finding work has been difficult. Despite the fact that I have no socials, we in a time where everyone Googles everything and my info is out there. There seems to be no way to ever recover from this.

One mistake and my life spiraled out of control, and I can't help but live in regret. Everything was my fault. I don't know how to move forward, or if I can.

What is there to look forward to, other than death?