Thoughtful Thursday: Instability
Understanding Instability
Instability can be described in terms of unpredictability. Anything including behaviour, emotions, attitudes, and beliefs show changes frequently and sometimes intensely.
Experiencing instability comes with a lack of self-control.
People generally seek stability in their lives so not only can it be difficult for the person experiencing instability, it can also be difficult for people around them because their usual expectations do not work anymore.
It makes for a highly distressing experience because not being able to stick to something such as a habit can be unnerving. Sometimes people struggle to find something they like because their interests keep changing.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is commonly associated with instability in emotions and behaviours. Emotions fluctuate intensely and rapidly based on triggers in the environment that do not usually evoke the same response in other people. Crying over a minor inconvenience is an example. Not only are the feelings intense, but they also take longer to pass. Medications, as well as lifestyle changes, can help regulate the instability. Some coping mechanisms like mindfulness can help do this quite effectively.
A few things that might be helpful when you’re dealing with instability
Self-regulating is helpful when dealing with instability. Lack of sleep, exercise, self-care skills, and health in general can make this difficult. It is helpful to address those to an extent that is feasible.
Plan what you would do beforehand when you expect yourself to react intensely. It can be difficult changing learned responses to triggers even if you know they cause problems for you so when you plan beforehand, the likelihood of changing response increases. Think about what, how, when, and be prepared to fail sometimes because it’s a process that takes time. Sometimes just finding the space to take at least one deep breath when you’re urged to respond intensely can be very helpful. This is because it brings you back to a state where you can respond consciously rather than reacting by impulse.
In cases of behaviour instability, try to create a structure. It does not have to be rigid but you can have a basic framework of what will happen at what time of the day so you are able to commit to certain actions that are important to you.
Mindfulness techniques such as mental noting.
Questions
Q1. Have you dealt with instability in any way? What do you do to cope with it?
Q2. Any other thoughts about the topic?
References
APA Dictionary of Psychology. (n.d.). Dictionary.apa.org. https://dictionary.apa.org/instability
Salters, K. (2021). You Can Regain Emotional Stability in BPD. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/reduce-your-emotional-instability-425375
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@sereneButton43
Thanks for posting this. 😊
I find myself doing what you mentioned of trying to balance creating structure while not being too rigid... since I can't always predict how I'm going to feel/think, what I'm going to want, or who I'm going to be on any given day.
Sometimes I'll just have a high-level understanding along the lines of "these are all of the different possibilities, and here's what I'll do for each one if it happens". But outside of that, I'll leave things open-ended/spontaneous and try to respond to whatever is in front of me once it's there.
Thats great! Planning in that way really helps, even in cases when we're anxious about something. At the same time, spontaneity can be balanced with it
I deal with instability on a weekly basis with my relationship and emotions. I'm learning coping skills now I just really got serious in learning my diagnosis of BPD I recently accepted that I have it and need to work hard to be able to live a happy healthy life
I really like the idea of trying to write down a plan of what to do so you can have a better chance of having a positive or less hostile response I struggle with that also having a structured way of living has been brought up alot lately in my support circle I'm thinking I shall give it a go.
Thank you for this post
@diamondintheROUGH2022 that's a great idea! good luck! :)
It’s probably already clear by my screen name that I have instabilities. How do I cope with it? Not very well. I am a planner, so that helps, but I also have OCD and can take planning too far. I do some relaxation techniques that work sometimes. The Self regulation makes sense. Not just my personality but my life circumstances are also reliably unreliable, like very chaotic as well. I can feel inside a longing for that stability, but so much of that is not for me to control, so I’m not sure how to help myself get there. This is in the forefront of my attention now though.
