Personality Disorders Community Check-in: October 31st–November 6th
Hello, PD Support Community!
🎃 How has your week been?
🎃 Today is Halloween in many countries, and it's a day when people dress up in costumes and masks. Do you ever feel like you wear a "mask" in your daily life to hide parts of yourself?
If you prefer not to answer these questions, feel free to say hello, ask for a hug, or share anything else that's on your mind. 🧡
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@QuietMagic Happy Halloween! 🎃👻
My week was full of ... very little. Somehow, I didn't get much done, almost didn't leave the house, even. Lots of calories and long sleeping, though. Guess I'm in winter mode, lol.
Yes, of course I wear a mask like that. I'm a very secretive person, I suppose.
@QuietMagic hi !! i really appreciate your check ins even though i dont say stuff all the time !
i'm really attached to physical touch and affection but my issues make it hard for me to understand other people's feelings about it and honestly im not bothered, but its an interesting thing that happens to me ! on that note i would love to give anyone a hug if they need/want it !! <3
bye bye !
@loftalex07
Hello! Glad that you decided to reply, appreciate that the check-ins are appreciated, and of course no obligation to reply. 😊
Oh yeah, physical touch and affection can be pretty amazing. You mentioned not understanding people's feelings about it--is that kind of like wanting to give hugs to everyone but sometimes other people don't want hugs?
@QuietMagic
yeah, mostly like that ! its weird to me sometimes because i dont get some social cues and the things people leave most unspoken is physical touch boundaries :{ i dont take it personally but it gets frustrating when i need some form of touch but no one is transparent about it
@loftalex07
Makes sense, I imagine there are some people who are always touch-friendly, other people who never really want hugs, and people for whom it varies depending on the day. Maybe it's necessary with certain people to ask something like "would it be okay for me to give you a hug" or "would you be okay with giving me a hug"
@QuietMagic
we wear a mask a lot around family members, but since we moved we finding we not have to wear masks. here were we are now we able to be the real us. only a few know we DID here too. but when we lived close to family in our home town. mom for her own benefit used our DXs to get attention and pity. so she tell others we was crazy and other personal things too. this made it like everyone know our business and also they believed her about things she said about us that was not truth.
the hardest part was even community mental health believed her lies and also said she was our best support even with us saying she was one of our abusers. this only made us not trust them and wear masks around them too. but even the community mental health is different here they believe us. seem odd that moving can help so much at times. we finding it ok to be us. still not ready to trust a whole lot offline. that even getting better in many ways too.
we was not on yesterday much due to Halloween very hard on us as far as memorizes.
@stormieandpaws
Wow, that makes a lot of sense that there would be masking in that sort of situation: having someone who's abusive and sharing info about you, most of which isn't true, largely for her own benefit--with other people believing her and not believing you.
I'm happy that you've been able to get away from that and find a different group of people where you're able to be more of yourself and have it go more smoothly (people believe what you say and it feels a bit more safe to share things). Understandable that there would still be a lot of accumulated distrust when you were in an unsafe situation for such a long time and you've felt what that's like.
Yeah, holidays or milestones can be difficult. What's happy or exciting for some people isn't that way for everyone. 💜
@QuietMagic
yes it was hard due to everyone kinda thought we liked the same things. being my home town and both my mom and dad had lived there since they was kids. too. so when we started talking about the abuse many did not believe us. both my parents' and most my family way different when out around others. then when they with you at home. but we free now. but holidays are hard due to we lone on most them now. but that better then being were it unsafe too.
so holidays bring up bad memories' and well it when we feel the lost. due to others are with family on the holidays.
but being safe and being able to be who i really am is great
@stormieandpaws
Ugh, yeah I think that's pretty common within abusive families for there to be a "public" face and then a "private" one--and for someone who's only seen the public face it might seem like "how could there possibly be anything wrong?" I'm sorry that people didn't believe you because of that.
Makes sense also what you're saying about holidays having this sense of loss around them (but also that it's what's best for you to be in a safe place even if it feels lonely). I wonder whether it's possible to start some new traditions on those days, like connecting with new people.
