The Lonely Narcisisst Club Band
I'm an older but active gentleman.
I continue to Alienate people. When all I want to do is help.
Reflection shows how I have alienated all that have crossed my path since grade school.
I see it as plain as day but I still misstep instictively and consistently.
I have become a cowardly narcissist and never seeing it for so many years is mind blowing.
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I want to express the making of a cowardly narcissist (myself). Others may differ.
I want to be a crybaby about it.
I want to talk about daily encounters where I failed empathy.
I'd like to talk about the benefits of a healthy narcissistic point of view.
I want to learn instantaneous empathy for others.... Instead of solutions for them.
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I welcome any and all conversations.
Happy New Year Ya'll. 😀.
I did not resolve my relationship with my niece this year but it is gonna be a focal point for next year.
I was waiting until I resolved my niece issue before interacting with the family but this year I changed that tact because so much time is going by (3+ years), I thought it was time to reach out to other family members.
That was a good move. I found several family members eager re-engage. But more revealing was finding the family members that just have a hateful heart in general and not necessarily in regards to me for any other reason but to pass judgment.
I feel like for the first time, I understand more what happened in depth behind the scenes. The damage is done but understanding it will help me navigate it better.
Thank you guys for being a positive reinforcement..... And this journey will surely continue into next year but I'm confident it will be resolved and I'm really looking forward to that regardless of how it gets resolved. It's season has come. 🙂
@IsayUncle
Hello! Makes sense that you felt like putting the niece issue on the back burner and focusing on the rest of the family rather than delaying any longer.
Sounds like the responses from the family were productive in both cases:
-People interested in re-engaging - yay
-People found to be deeply judgmental and impossible to restart a relationship with - uncomfortable/painful but possibly helpful in that you're able to say "I tried my best", give up, and refocus your energy/affection where it can have some positive impact
Hoping that this coming year continues to build on last year and that you get the evolution and resolution you're looking for. 😊
@QuietMagic
Happy New Year! 😃. I hope things are treating you well and you have a reinvigorated start for the new year.
Thanks for your input. I think my next step will be a concentrated but selfless effort to force a contact between my niece and myself.
When I use the word selfless and force, it's more like, an intentional last gasp or you might say being sure that I turned over each stone. Instead of letting her silence treatment dictate the situation between us (forever more), try to get some dialogue so that there is a clear understanding between us. Positve or Negative.
Selfless in my eyes, is doing this so she does not continue to live with this black mark on her heart. It could be argued, I'm assuming she has a black mark on her heart. That may be true but I think it is a very good assumption.
Forced contact we'll be using other family members to reach out to her. Primarily, her significant other who has been a long time boyfriend/husband type. I have chosen not to discuss the situation with other family members in the past because it was important to me, to keep it between us.
I just realized that I hadn't finished the story about what happened between us. In short, I thought my niece and I were very close. And we truly were on many levels.
She was working on her real estate license so I thought it was a great idea to let her try to sell our house. There are several conditions that had to be addressed before the sale of the house. The most important one was getting my nephew and his family out of the house to make the sale.
I had not realized how much my niece had grown to dislike me and that goes into my narcissistic personality and family angst against me. My niece sided with my Ex (Our seperation was in process) in the process of selling our house. It was all done with judgement, greed and harshness but it got done. I was excised from the equation.... (I know, sour grapes, right? Maybe, but not quite just that.)
That event completely exposed the true nature of, and broke our trust with each other. We have not spoken since and it's negative energy impacts other cousins, my other nieces and nephews.
So this situation has had a big negative impact on the entire family environment. (Not only In regards to my own realm, but also an additional cloud overall). Maybe not significant anymore while I'm out of view, but coming into view could generate bad feelings if there's no attempt at an understanding if not a resolution.
@cloudysummer (shared - rest of story) and Happy New Year to you 😀.