spacig out trigger warning
this week been kinda a nightmare. we was snowed in for few days. then our checking account got hacked. so we had long day Friday trying to get that sorted out too.
we not had for long time lost time or spacing out. but the stress of getting checking account hacked. kinda put us into spacing out and i lost a little time. been very confused too. our system mostly works as a team. this took a lot of hard healing work to get to this point. so when space out or lose time feel like steps backwards so little down about this too.
was DXed with DID long time ago. for me it explained a lot. but still hard to live with. it kinda like having a whole community within.
wonder if others with DID. have a inside world they can see. this to many sounds odd. when spacing out it like i go into the inside world. many things there to clam a person. so not even sure why we seem to need that more now. we very hard on self. so not liking the spacing out at all.
@stormieandpaws
Wow, that does sound pretty stressful. 🙁 Having the snow disrupting things, and then the close call with the checking account (and having to work through everything you mentioned in the other post of closing the account, creating a new account, getting the debit card working, etc.) Glad that it got caught before anyone tried to withdraw money from it.
I think that's really normal for people to take steps backwards when they're under a lot of stress. You mentioned in the other post that you were able to abstain from self-harming, which sounds like signs of progress. That's probably something that wouldn't have been possible before. 💜 I'd expect things will return back to normal once things settle down. (I bet it felt pretty unsettling though to lose time when that hasn't happened for a while and it felt like that wouldn't occur again.)
I have a friend with DID that I talk to regularly, and they've also talked about there being an inner world with parts moving back and forth between dormancy/void, inner world (including things like arcade games and activities for younger parts), hosting/fronting, and parts that manage memory access and control of hosting/fronting for everybody. They mentioned that the movie "Inside Out" felt like a good representation of the inner world.
@QuietMagic
yes that movie kinda like what happens. for me due to all the ard healing work. most times when i not fronting it like i am watching but not controlling the body. but see everything going on. ear everything going on too. that why this time losing time felt like a setback and felt scary. tat not happened in a few years. but we ok with it today as we ad inside meeting and even i know everything that happened when i lost time. this helped a lot. we have like a city hall inside with a round table. each of the groups of alters send one to be at the meetings. they within each group have already had a group meeting. this how we talk important things over so all at least clue in on stuff. so when any one upset about something that effect us all. they call a round table meeting. this has helped our system a lot.
the self harm most the time was done when one of us felt overwhelmed or thought we needed to be punishes. but now not happened in a very long time. this mostly due to we have support within for each. also some support online. most offline not know we have DID or not believe in it. why we not let most know offline is due to the past reactions when we did were not good. my one best-friend our counclor knows and mental health works. but not most others. as a Christian many of the other believers think alters are demons and want to cast them out. that happened in past. not all Christian believe they demons, but many do.
we try to keep safe so not telling most offline we feel for our safety. seem everything more at peace today. we went with club to mall yesterday. eat out that was great too. thank you for your support too
@stormieandpaws
Wow, that's brilliant. So there are groups of alters that meet internally, and then the groups send a representative to the system-wide meeting (at the city hall 😊), and everybody stays informed on everything. Or if someone's really hurting then it becomes an issue that everybody works together to resolve. I love it.
That must be tough having a lot of people either not knowing about your inner situation, not believing in it, or thinking that it's demonic rather than just a normal mental health thing that people sometimes experience. Glad that you at least have a few people who have the full picture of things. 💜
@QuietMagic
thank you took a very long time for our system to work as team. even when we was still with my ex hubby. we started healing work not not easy at all. we had a psych the first one who did not believe in DID. then said if it true it very rare and told us we did not have it. we had just came back from a center that worked with people with DID. had spent 3 weeks there and on camera. they saw the others within me. they helped a lot but seeing was still marred. a lot of it came undone. due to mental health workers were we lived. then very bad but was made to go live with parents again. but found apartment within 2 months. but even being in same city as them was not good. what worst is they pushed me on parents said they was best support we had.
but within all that we still healed a lot came to work as a team too. after we moves away from family. we got good mental health treatment both online and offline. the two who know about all within. one very helpful and other one some what. yes it hard not letting everyone know. but it also keeps us safe in some ways.
healing work is hard may not be 100% healed even when pass from this word but each day brings more healing hope you doing ok
