Undiagnosed BPD
I am 16 years old and have been experiencing all the symptoms of bpd for about a year now. I match every single symptom and I have a narcissistic abusive mom and siblings with diagnosed bpd but I cannot get diagnosed until i’m 18 or let my parents know I want to get a diagnosis. Almost every day I experience intense mood swings in seconds, minutes or hours. Recently i’ve been experiencing hallucinations for about a month now as well as dissociation, paranoia and suicidal thoughts. I’ve had them a few months ago but it was never this bad and I actually feel like i’m going insane. I don’t know who to talk to about this because I don’t want my parents to find out and i’m broke.
@modestCat1325
Hi, sorry you've been going through that. 💜 Does definitely sound like there's a strong chance that if you were 18 right now you'd get diagnosed (i.e. you've had all of the symptoms for a year, plus your siblings were diagnosed).
I wonder if you've been able to talk to your siblings about it? They might be able to empathize since they're going through something similar, and possibly they might have some tips based on their own experience (whether that's for dealing with the BPD or dealing with the experience of living with your mom).
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Passing along some links that might be relevant:
List of verified listeners on 7 Cups who take chats on BPD
List of resources for BPD
List of crisis resources (since you mentioned suicidal thoughts)
First, I want to say this: you’re not insane. Those feelings and experiences are real and valid, but they don’t define you, and you’re not alone in feeling this way. Since you can’t talk to your parents, look for resources that don’t involve them. Many schools have counselors who can offer support confidentially or you could check out crisis text lines or online services designed for teens. Even journaling or finding an adult outside your family like a teacher or mentor could help. The hallucinations and paranoia sound terrifying and they’re a sign your mind is overwhelmed. It’s important to find ways to ground yourself when this happens like breathing exercises, holding something cold, or even focusing on one sensory detail around you can help. You deserve help, even if your parents don’t understand. Keep reaching out; there are people out here who care about you and want to support you.
