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rabbitandthehare
6 158 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupTeen Last activeJanuary, 2025 Member sinceJanuary 10, 2025
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So basically...
Personality Disorders Support / by rabbitandthehare
Last post
 7 hours ago
...See more Hi, I'm back at school—first day. Yippiee! My stepmother had to drive me because my bus had a different bus driver and didn't drive to my stop, so I had to be in a car with her, next to her for about 30 minutes. I don't like how she drives at all, and she talks out loud when she's frustrated, it just makes the whole atmosphere so much more tense than it needs to be. She was looking at her phone for moment, hitting the gas and moving the wheel at a minimum so her car went straight and didn't hit anything. I didn't like that very much. I just kinda feel like she's way too old to be like how she is when she's frustrated—complaining out loud as if I'm the one she's mad at, her tone and expression are always easy to read and 'sharp', and then usually she doesn't acknowledge it or say sorry or whatever afterwards. I don't know how to explain it, if that wasn't enough. I just feel like she's too old. The car got closer to the school and I think I got kinda anxious or something. Like, picture something dangerous coming towards you, and you're on the floor crawling backwards in pure terror. It felt scary walking through the hallway with wild teenagers in front of me, and it was weird because I saw multiple students without back packs. Some students kept looking inside of my French class, and I didn't like it. During lunch I felt hopelessness and a tad bit alone for a small moment because of being reminded of the students—they are lazy, wild, ignorant, immature, they lack manners and basic grammar, etc. I just really feel like I should be able to do whatever I want cause school is hopeless and my stepmother—I dislike her a huge amount. I wanted to pull my teeth out as I sat in the cafeteria. Can't go into detail with that though.
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Lobster — idk what to title this, sorry
Personality Disorders Support / by rabbitandthehare
Last post
 Sunday
...See more I had a vision yesterday, but it was like it was inside of a daydream, if that makes sense. It was quite vivid and I wrote it down cause I could remember it all. This was the vision: In a vision, the mind pictured a man. Screaming in possible agony, his face was quite expressive. He looked older—in his forties, but I couldn’t see his face clearly, only his short blonde hair, the wrinkles around his open mouth, a little chunk of his neck, and some small parts of the background. He was like he was in an alleyway. His head was very close to my eyes, I only saw his head. It was like he was looking into a camera. The lighting of this vision was mostly green, with a black tint, and grainy, like you’d see in a zombie game. There was a bit of red at the bottom, and I saw that his hair was a bit pixelated, but again, I couldn’t picture his face. Oddly enough I got triggered into it because someone was screaming in my daydream. That was yesterday. Today I felt desires forming—like a puddle inside my stomach, or maybe it was closer to my head? I don’t know, it happened a while ago. And I’m getting more attracted to disturbing things like I did in August–November. Just waiting for Monday (first school day after winter break) I don't know if I already said this but a few days ago, in the morning, my stepmother triggered me back into the impulsive feelings I used to get during that time I mentioned, and then I went into a spiral of worry and shaky rage the whole day. It's all been slowly coming back ever since. She makes me feel tense a lot
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