Thoughtful Thursday: Anger
Understanding anger
Anger is a feeling of displeasure with someone or something that feels wrong. It is a normal emotion that nearly everybody experiences.
It is possible to feel angry at someone else, at external events, or at yourself. When anger is directed toward others, it is usually in response to actions that feel disrespectful, demeaning, threatening, or neglectful.
Positive effects of anger
Anger is often portrayed as a completely negative or destructive emotion, but it can have many benefits.
- It can provide a way of expressing negative feelings
- It can motivate or energize us to find solutions to problems or work toward goals
- It can be an appropriate response to injustices that causes us to try to correct problems we see in the world
- It can signal to others that what we have to say is important
- It can help us communicate boundaries and protect ourselves if someone is doing something that is not okay and threatens our safety
- It can provide us with a sense of control and power
- It can protect us from difficult, vulnerable feelings
Negative effects of anger
Physical effects: Anger triggers a short-term arousal response in the sympathetic nervous system. However, if this response becomes something chronic or occurs very frequently, it can increase the risk of a variety of health conditions:
- High blood pressure
- Stroke
- Heart disease
- Gastric ulcers
- Bowel disease
- Certain types of cancer
- Weakened immune system
- Obesity
- Migraines
- Insomnia
Social effects: Anger can contribute to interpersonal conflict and make it more difficult to maintain relationships with friends, family members, and coworkers.
Psychological effects: Chronic anger increases the risk of a variety of negative mental health outcomes:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Low self-esteem
- Substance abuse
- Risk of abusing others
- Fatigue/burnout
Relationship to personality disorders
Anger is a common experience that can be an issue in many different personality disorders. For example:
- Antisocial personality disorder: in response to imposition of social rules and norms
- Narcissistic personality disorder: in response to criticism or threats to self-image
- Paranoid personality disorder: in response to threats to safety
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Borderline personality disorder: in response to feelings of hurt or abandonment
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Avoidant personality disorder: in response to feeling rejected by other people
Tips for managing anger
- Pause and take some time to think before speaking or acting
- Express frustration assertively without being aggressive (i.e. clear, respectful, non-confrontational)
- Physical activity can reduce feelings of anger
- Take a short break to care for yourself if you anticipate entering into a situation that may be highly stressful or triggering
- Engage in problem-solving and brainstorm possible fixes to the problems you’re experiencing
- Use “I” statements when expressing yourself (e.g. “I feel upset when you don’t respond to my messages”)
- Forgive and be open to the possibility of the conflict being resolved, if this feels appropriate or realistic
- Humor can help diffuse tension and lighten negative feelings
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Do anything you find relaxing or calming (e.g. deep breathing, muscle relaxation, visualizing something peaceful, repeating a calming word or phrase, listening to music, writing in a journal, doing yoga, etc.)
Questions for reflection
1) Do you experience anger frequently? How does it affect your daily life?
2) Any other thoughts about this topic?
Sources:
https://www.apa.org/topics/anger
https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/recognize
https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/understanding
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/value-of-anger-16-reasons-its-good-to-get-angry-0313175
https://health.usnews.com/wellness/mind/articles/2017-10-26/the-physical-and-mental-toll-of-being-angry-all-the-time
https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/anger-and-personality-disorders.htm
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/anger-management/art-20045434