Lobster — idk what to title this, sorry

I had a vision yesterday, but it was like it was inside of a daydream, if that makes sense. It was quite vivid and I wrote it down cause I could remember it all. This was the vision:

In a vision, the mind pictured a man. Screaming in possible agony, his face was quite expressive. He looked older—in his forties, but I couldn’t see his face clearly, only his short blonde hair, the wrinkles around his open mouth, a little chunk of his neck, and some small parts of the background. He was like he was in an alleyway. His head was very close to my eyes, I only saw his head. It was like he was looking into a camera. The lighting of this vision was mostly green, with a black tint, and grainy, like you’d see in a zombie game. There was a bit of red at the bottom, and I saw that his hair was a bit pixelated, but again, I couldn’t picture his face.

Oddly enough I got triggered into it because someone was screaming in my daydream.

That was yesterday. Today I felt desires forming—like a puddle inside my stomach, or maybe it was closer to my head? I don’t know, it happened a while ago. And I’m getting more attracted to disturbing things like I did in August–November. Just waiting for Monday (first school day after winter break)

I don't know if I already said this but a few days ago, in the morning, my stepmother triggered me back into the impulsive feelings I used to get during that time I mentioned, and then I went into a spiral of worry and shaky rage the whole day. It's all been slowly coming back ever since. She makes me feel tense a lot