Issues I’d Like to Discuss

@fairmindedCircle3939

I think it is common for a child to internalize and feel it is their fault. Parents have many stresses and fights that go on and on are usually a result in both bad at conflict resolution.  you may need to learn as well because i never learned because like you my situation had fast anger and unresolved arguments 

Anger and frustration is in our control to learn to deal better with those.   

@fairmindedCircle3939

Sorry that you've had to grow up in that kind of environment. Could imagine that just being around parents who are angry/fighting all of the time could make things harder in a bunch of ways:

• It's just stressful and draining being around people who are fighting/unhappy, especially if you care about them and want them to be happy. Could really make it difficult to manage/regulate emotions if you're constantly being flooded with negative stuff in your surroundings that's outside of your control.

• You've possibly never had a chance to see adults handling feelings or conflicts in a healthy/respectful way, so it might feel like that isn't possible or you don't have any experience seeing what that looks like.

• When your parents are so preoccupied with spending all of their energy fighting one another, I imagine that doesn't leave a lot of space/attention leftover for you.

• When your parents are constantly hostile/tense, I imagine that makes them feel a bit less safe to be around or like you maybe have to walk on eggshells around them ("what if I do something wrong and make them angry when they're already feeling upset, what if they unleash all of that anger onto me")

• If you don't know anybody who's talked about similar experiences, and if you can't talk to your parents about much of this, I could see how that might lead to feeling lonely or misunderstood

I wonder if any of that resonates for you. Or maybe there was something else you were thinking of when you mentioned that your parents' arguments trigger anger and overthinking?

I'm sorry but I might be a parent like this. I'm sorry you are in the middle. I don't know how to get out of this marriage. My kids have told me to stop, they don't want to hear it. Best if you don't get involved either it is not about you. You will eventually become stronger and learn from this place you are in.. You won't always feel helpless.