Poem about BPD

This is sort of a vent. I wrote this poem about living with BPD. Writing's kind of an outlet for me and idk maybe you guys relate and find some sort of solace in it being put into words.

just so hard

I’m puzzle pieces, it’s what I am

I’m scattered wide, it’s a disease and,

I search for myself, but it seems that I can’t reach it

It’s no ones fault it’s just my terrible condition.

And I’ve been thinking,

I want to be a better person, better me and

Deep down I know the person who I want to be but,

My mind finds ways to make me feel like I am sinking.

Oh I long for this sorrow to be gone

To forgive myself from wrongs

Why is that always so hard?

Just so hard and

Oh I hope this is something fixable

Cause I don’t want to be discarded

But oh it’s always just so hard

I crave the peace to,

Quiet the noise, and find my joys

Just like I used to

But doubts and fears they’re always here

So it’s hard to do so

And part of me is gone it’s somewhere lost, out of view

I feel lost like,

A ship without a home, it’s always cold from no light

I always feel alone but I act like I’m alright

So I just let everything out when it turns midnight

Oh I’ve been, in fight or flight for way too long

Been dodging over cannonballs

And no one sees that that is hard

Just so hard and

Oh I know this ways barley liveable

And at times indescribable

And oh it’s always just so hard

Just so hard

I’ve been sleeping,

Way to little but at least I’m back to eating

Insecurities all over make me weak and

I hope someday I can make friends and keep them

But oh it’s just so hard

Just so hard