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vera08
596 M Embraced 5
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts73 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes32 Current upvotes32 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2023 Member sinceDecember 11, 2022
Recent forum posts
TW: Poem I wrote(sort of a vent)
Self-Harm Recovery / by vera08
Last post
 May 24th, 2023
...See more hate myself Falling to pieces one by one Nobody sees how I’m holding on Some tiny thread that’s bound to break I can still feel my body ache Told them once, but they don’t want to listen Not sick enough for my mental condition You can’t tell but I need a physician Sometimes I even hate myself Tired of keeping up the part Unbearable feeling, falling apart Nightmares they creep up in my head Can’t get a one night’s rest in bed Slit my wrist to drown out all my feelings I can’t trust, everyone’s always leaving Say I’m fine but I can be deceiving Sometimes I even hate myself Battlefield on my skin, you don’t get it Everytime that I cut I regret it Feel relief though I don’t recommend it Sometimes I even hate myself Leave me all alone with my own mind Tired all the time cause I disguise All of my own pain I hold inside Trying not to show my own poison Paint my face 'cause the real me is pointless Do my nails, just to rip me to pieces Lose my mind 'cause I don't wanna keep it Sometimes I even hate myself
Poem about BPD
Personality Disorders Support / by vera08
Last post
 May 25th, 2023
...See more This is sort of a vent. I wrote this poem about living with BPD. Writing's kind of an outlet for me and idk maybe you guys relate and find some sort of solace in it being put into words. just so hard I’m puzzle pieces, it’s what I am I’m scattered wide, it’s a disease and, I search for myself, but it seems that I can’t reach it It’s no ones fault it’s just my terrible condition. And I’ve been thinking, I want to be a better person, better me and Deep down I know the person who I want to be but, My mind finds ways to make me feel like I am sinking. Oh I long for this sorrow to be gone To forgive myself from wrongs Why is that always so hard? Just so hard and Oh I hope this is something fixable Cause I don’t want to be discarded But oh it’s always just so hard I crave the peace to, Quiet the noise, and find my joys Just like I used to But doubts and fears they’re always here So it’s hard to do so And part of me is gone it’s somewhere lost, out of view I feel lost like, A ship without a home, it’s always cold from no light I always feel alone but I act like I’m alright So I just let everything out when it turns midnight Oh I’ve been, in fight or flight for way too long Been dodging over cannonballs And no one sees that that is hard Just so hard and Oh I know this ways barley liveable And at times indescribable And oh it’s always just so hard Just so hard I’ve been sleeping, Way to little but at least I’m back to eating Insecurities all over make me weak and I hope someday I can make friends and keep them But oh it’s just so hard Just so hard
Poem about depression
Depression Support / by vera08
Last post
 June 11th, 2023
...See more Depression is like water. Hollowing out the stone, drop by drop. Quietly. Slowly. By the time you realize something’s wrong, you're neck-deep. Soon, you become so used to it, you can’t even tell when it started. Its presence…lingering. Every day of every week of every year. And all this time, you try to stay afloat. Just like a swan-graceful,smooth sailing above yet beneath the surface… you’re desperately treading water. But it must forever remain a secret. So even when the pain is unbearable, you still get up every day. Put on perfectly ironed clothes. Put on your shoes. Put on that fake smile you’ve been practicing for ages. And once you’re ready, You walk out the door to put on your best performance In the most bewildering of plays that is your life. It unfolds right in front of you, yet feels so distant at the same time. But sometimes, you forget your lines and the pain trickles through the cracks. Even strangers in the street know how bad you’re hurting, just from the look on your face. They ask whether you’re okay, but talking to people reminds you of how lonely you are. So you smile and nod, while on the inside- you’re screaming. Life becomes high maintenance, but you don't want to be any more burdensome. Because you already feel like a waste of space. Like people can barely tolerate the fact that you’re using up oxygen. So you try to prove your worth by being the best. Keep everyone happy. Everyone, but you. You can have good days, though. Tiny sparks of light and joy. Those glorious mornings when brushing your hair doesn't feel like an insurmountable task. But depression never really leaves you. You're forever regretful of the past and always anxious about the future. You can't truly enjoy the good days because you know that soon- everything will turn black. You still remember how beautiful life is but every time depression hits, It erases pleasant memories, bit by bit. Scared of losing it all, you finally summoned the courage to say “You know what? No. I'm not okay.” But people just blankly stare through you. After all, your life has not completely fallen apart yet, So why would anyone believe you're struggling? And so … you just continue your solitary journey down a long pitch-black tunnel not knowing whether you'll ever see the light again.
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