Mentally & emotionally exhausted!!!
I’m 37, almost 38, and I feel like I am almost at my breaking point and I am fearing for my future. I wish I didn’t constantly wonder what I want in my life and who I want to be. Been married almost 16 years and tired of the constant ups and downs between being resigned to a boring but safe and comfortable marriage and wanting to be single or in a more satisfying relationship. Also, a convert of over 20 years to a church and the back and forth between complete belief and skepticism. I feel myself faced with needing to separate or divorce to see what life might have to offer me at this period of my life, but am afraid of the long term consequences. Can anyone relate?
At the heart of the issue is the mental turmoil I feel that is now becoming physical—sleeping and eating either too much or too little. I’m even starting to hallucinate sounds and pictures as I fall asleep at night when I am very stressed. I’m starting to withdraw and spend more and more time in my bedroom while my hubby watches the kids. I feel like I need to work on my own mental health and that I can’t do that as a mom and a wife. I need a break so bad. If I were a child, I could stay home and rest and my mom would take care of me. But I’m an adult and I can’t just have someone take care of me, though I wish I could.
So sorry. I am dealing with the same. I’m here if you need to listen
I'm so sorry your struggling I have felt the same too, this society isn't set up for us to put ourselves first and take care of our stuff before anyone elses. Then it makes ya just lose it. I'm in therapy and learning about how to make ME first and not feel guilty about it so I can fill up my cup so I can help the rest of my group. I always thought I was stupid, unworthy, and lame. ( Childhood abuse caused this) Well that's not true I deserve to feel good and so do you. I started taking half a day off of work once a week and go to therapy, get a massage, take a nap lol. Best thing I ever did. I shut the phone off told my family I'm busy for the next 3 hours don't call me, call your dad. I hope this helps or at least let's you know your not alone in your suffering. I care.
