Living with bpd🤔
Everyday is a mystery will I have a good day an emotional day anger splitting will me and my man get into a traumatic fight will I be able to get out of bed today am I going to lose my relationship can I get done the million things I need to get done chores appointments feeling judged betrayed self hate its so difficult living with borderline personality disorder just wish I could get ahold of it and be able to live a happier life and not lose everything I've worked so hard for it seems like I get ahold of all my emotions and get my life together and just when I get into a routine feeling happing with hope it' all come crashing down and I'm back a square one
[Edited by QuietMagic 3/5/22 to remove extra blank lines]@diamondintheROUGH2022 not knowing how it's going to be can be unnerving. Can lead to a lot of worrying too. Sounds like you have been putting a lot of effort into living the sort of life you want and don't want it to go to waste, which is fair.
I don't think you go back to square one at all. You learn from each of these experiences. Even when it comes crashing down and you feel like it is just like before, you're still learning. The learning continues as long as you have the intention and willingness to take initiative to make things better. There will be ups and downs in making things better, as generally is, but it will be worth it, I believe. Wishing you a good day :)
@diamondintheROUGH2022
Hi, that makes a lot of sense. 💜 It all feels really unstable because you wake up and have no idea what kind of day you're going to have. Is it going to be a good day? Or a day where there are all kinds of painful feelings, difficult fights with people around you, and not being able to do things you want to do?
It's also hard knowing that if those feelings occur, there's a risk of that accidentally undoing the good things you were able to create through a lot of hard work.
And then I guess on top of all of those feelings, the thing that makes it even harder is that there's all of this judgment (from other people, from yourself) about having those feelings. "If I feel this way, there's something wrong with me. If I share how I'm feeling, it's going to cause problems and everyone is going to reject me."
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It felt so good reading your reply why idk just feeling like you understand exactly where I was coming from in my post thank you for reply and I'll be reaching out have a great day thanks for caring
@diamondintheROUGH2022
Glad to hear that it felt like I was following what you were saying 💜
Omg I completely know how this feels. It was like it was me writing down everything that you just said. Just know you aren't the only one going through something like this. I live with BPD as well and it's incredibly difficult. If you want to reach out and chat, I'm totally here for you