I'M SO ALONE AND LOST
I'll start of by listing my disorders. I have BPD, ADHD, and vulnerable narcissism. I'm 22 years old, fresh out of a 4 year on and off relationship. I'm more self aware than I was in the beginning of the relationship. Just last year I cut off all my unhealthy support (my friends, my family) as an attempt to really get better and make my relationship work. This helped in my recovery but not enough. My ex boyfriend is the nicest empathetic person I know in the whole world despite my paranoia during the relationship. I placed my whole value and safety in him and now I'm so very alone and lost in so many feelings. I'm scared of going back to unhealthy behavioural patterns. I'm scared of losing this realisation that my whole experience was down to my personality disorders. I'm so ashamed and hurt. The ideal I was living in has come crashing down. I'm looking for a safe space to share but not to blame and accuse as I used to. I'm aware now and it fucking sux. I hope one day I can recover and reunite but until then I need to build myself up from the inside out and I'm looking to talk to people who can relate.
@Lianne22 Hey Lianne, I notice that you have been getting better and learning about yourself despite various challenges, which is great to see! Your struggles are very valid, no label should take that away from you. You're not alone in this either. It's understandable to be scared at this point. Awareness is nice as it allows us scope to influence things we earlier did not know about but it can also be overwhelming because of the pressure. I hope this can be something of a safe place for you. Feel free to connect to a listener here if you want to talk about it 1-1, we're here to support you 😊