How do you cope with the intensity of emotions?
It really has a physical toll on me. Today I didn't get out of bed til 5pmit's just so tiring. I'm constantly in a state of desperation, whichever mood I'm in.
I vent online or talk to myself in private or read a book or flood my brain with music or obsessively clean my house or write in my journal...
Sometimes I find cleaning helpful too :) because it's physical. However if you saw my room you'd think otherwise :') I wish I could apply it to my room but I guess my room is a reflection of me - chaotic.
My emotions can get so intense that I can't do anything, I'm frozen in the intensity.
I totally understand my daughter has BPD just like me and her room is messy too I clean because I get anxious and wannastop the rambling in my head..
I wish I could have a break from it.
Even "positive" emotions get too much for me.
for example the other week I went to the restaurant my bro is training to be a chef in. When I saw him all smart in his chef uniform I went from proud to euphoric to suicidal in seconds. I felt so proud, it felt like lazor beam was going through me. I felt violently proud like nobody else is better than my brother & got upset because I need everyone in the world to see how good he is.
Yup sounds like BPD for sure ... I am really over protective with my kids even if they do bad things and if somebody other me tries to correct them I start having visions of me killing them kinda freaky I know right?..
Just read what I posted I hope you know not kill my kids but the other relatives instead
