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How do i handle my girlfriend with BPD?
Yumiidk June 12th, 2022
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I'm sure that my girlfriend has BPD even though she never got diagnosed, she has all the symptoms of the illness.. It's really hard since she is living with her abuser (her mom) and we will be together next summer. I really want to help her and right now I'm trying to make it easier with her.. Last night we had a really bad fight through text and I responded to her anger in a defensive way. Now let me tell you this: we talked that she is going to tell me if her sanity is low but she didn't tell me and i thought she was behaving normally and just trying to be mean with me. She had multiple and extreme changes of mood and then I realised it wasn't herself... I calmed her down and realised she truly has BPD since I triggered her last night with such a small thing(we were having a casual conversation and I told her that she makes me angry) ... I'm trying to take this more seriously and I want to help her but I don't know how since I'm also at times a defensive person.. I also have to mention that her mother is extremely abusive and is causing her lots of damage( she screams at her nonstop, she is controlling, insulting her in a every casual convo).. Please help me give me tips so I can be a better gf to her and how we can set bondaries in the meantime to make it her ger better. I'm aware that right now she can't heal because she is in a toxic envirioment but least just to make these reactions stop.. Please any tip would help. Also sorry for my bad english , i'm not a native speaker. Thank you so much!

2
RarelyCharlie June 12th, 2022
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@Yumiidk It sounds like your girlfriend's abusive mother is a nightmare, and it's really difficult to know how to set boundaries in that kind of toxic environment.

I'm not an expert, but your feeling that she can't heal because of the constant abuse seems accurate to me. In fact, there's a condition called non-BP that describes people who seem like they have BPD, but it's really caused by someone else toxic in their lives. You can find some information about non-BP if you search the Internet, for example: Non Borderlines. But it's all very confusing and there seem to be no simple solutions.

I hope you will be able to find ways to stop the worst of the damage her mother causes, and allow your girlfriend to experience some peaceful times when she can start to recover and be herself.

Charlie

Yumiidk OP June 12th, 2022
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Thank you so much! I truly apreciate your response and I will take in consideration this article. I apreciate your time to reply ♥️. Yes it's really difficult for her to be normal even though we talk about what we can do in the future to prevent, she doesn't seem to be able to remember what we talk earlier.. I think best way would be to avoid triggers and to contradict her



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