"Confronting" my psychiatrist
Hi, everyone! I have posted about this in response to threads, but I just wanted to ask this question: is it okay ( or is it wrong/not a realistic expectation) for me to expect my psychiatrist to validate my feelings of abandonment & rejection when she had to cxl my appt last Friday? I know she did NOT abandon me or reject me ( @ least in some small part of my brain), she was sick. However, she KNEW what a hard time I was having from my counselor. I should have admitted myself, actually... and was planning to discuss that ? With her @ appt. but she was SICK!!! I mean, what is my problem? I guess it would be nice to think there is someone out there who will like go out of there way to be there for me or something? (My counselor DID call & check on me Friday after I sent her an email)
anyway, would it even be RIGHT for her to validate those feelings? Idk but I feel like I need her to say " I can understand why you feel that way" or something. What do you think?
im havig. A hard time even calling to make another appt I tried that day, but was emotionally incapable of doing so. ( for the record, they DID call me to tell me, I just didn't get the message)
@leiselerin Hi. I know I'm not even close to qualified to give any sort of credible help, but I read your post and wanted to say that I totally understand. If you've already found the strength to get a psychiatrist (which is more than most I know with issues like that), then tell them. That's what they're there for: to help. You just have to let them. Just get a glass of something sweet (it helps and I prefer chocolate milk personally), sit down and write her out an email. Make sure you hit send and then make sure you know that what you're doing is ok to do, I struggle a bit with those sorts of thoughts when my friends don't include me in the stuff they do (they all live together and I'm a few doors down. It shouldn't be a big deal, but I have to txt first if I ever want to contact any of them). I wind up sitting at home feeling the same way after they all talked about nightly plans in front of me and told me they'd keep me posted. The only way to fix the issue is to let the other person involved know what's wrong. As amazing as it'd be to have mind readers who know exactly when to show up like every friend in every book ever seems to, that just doesn't happen much. You gotta make the effort. On the plus side? You already made this post, so you've told us all now. All that's left is her.
@Rundus1 true story! Yeah, idk what she could have done differently/ what I could tell
her i need. I've tried telling friends what I need. Hasn't worked out that well/they're not perfect. Lol.
i hope u get to talk to your friends. If they're not going to "let you know " or " be in touch" they shouldn't a. Lie about it b. Discuss their plans in front of you!
thanks for the response
oh, and my therapist said I should tell her in person and not by email, because that is what I always do. I guess I'm supposed to learn to confront people in person. Idk
have a good night
@leiselerin DBT has a really good skill that you can use for communicating your feelings to others, and asking for what you want and need. The Acronym is 'DEARMAN'. You can read more about this at this website:
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/ie_handout_8.html
@leiselerin
I am so sorry to hear that you have had this experience and it can be unsettling especially as you feel like you have opened up to your psychiatrist and she then cancels. Unfortunately, psychiatrists are human too - they have their own off days, sick days, family issues etc which I know doesn't help you but sometimes it helps to diffuse the situation by seeing the bigger picture.
However, it is important you do tell your psychiatrist how you are feeling and then take it from there. Your psychiatrist would want you to address your concerns with them and you've made a very brave step by visiting a psychiatrist too and it will feel a little awkward confronting this situation but ultimately, hopefully it will really move things forward too. :)
In the mean time, you can share your worries with us :)
@OceanCounselling
thank you! I'll have to be late to work ( by a couple hours!) but I got in tomorrow @ 10!
@leiselerin
So glad things are moving forward for you. X
@leiselerin I get you. I struggle with these feelings of abandonment as well, with silly little things, that I think I'm overreacting to. Yet in my mind, at that moment, it's too painful and deep to even try to talk myself out of not feeling that way. But we need to accept our feelings. They're there, and we need to acknowedge them. I agree that you should tell you Psych about it. It will help give you some relief having gotten that off your chest.
My first post got erased somehow, so here's my second attempt:
thanks for all the encouragement.
I did talk to her about my feelings, after acknowledging she did nothing wrong and is allowed to be sick. I told her I felt rejected and abandoned, even though I know it doesn't make sense ( was tearing up here) she said she was sorry. She said she saw me on the list and knew it wasn't good for her to miss since I was in such a bad way, but that she was so sick, she wouldn't have been able to help me anyway.
it was really encouraging. She didn't try and tell me I needed to like push through those feelings and focus on the truth. She just accepted them.
@leiselerin I'm glad you spoke to her and are feeling better.
@RayneStorm
thanks.
now dealing with a cold & my roommates moving out. Primarily a good thing, having abandonment feelings, but mostly want them to get the rest of their stufff out of the house! It's been stressful!
@leiselerin
Hey! I'm really proud of the progress you've made. That conversation couldn't have been easy but it sounds like you did exactly what you needed to do. I've had similar feelings when my therapist or doctor has canceled on me and it's hard to get through, I know. You are doing amazing!