CBT + DBT the story so far
Hey all, i mentioned recently i started cbt and it became clear ealrly on that DBT would also help.. so we are doing both, and so far things have been really positive! The main focus in my first few sessions is just being aware of whats going on in my bran, and accepting extreme emotions and my anxiety issues. First i'll start with the books i've been recommended and the ones i've read so far:
'Calming the emotional storm by sheri van dijk' - this has given me an insight into recognising the emotions and various mindfullness techniques that ca help you with that, this is more of an introduction to what DBT is and how it can help, rather than something detailed for BPD although Sheri developed the DBT for BPD, this book was simplified so anyone with emotional dysregulation can work through it :)
'the art of empathy by karla mclaren' - i have loved this book! this book is all about empathy and how you can be hyperaware of other peoples emotions and what effect this has on you (i struggle with very high empathy like the author, who talkes about her experiences) and this book is all about not demonising your emotions... there are no bad emotions! this has helped me so much in thinking about how i repress some emotions and over-react to others.. klara gives solid advice on noticing these emotions and gives you exersises to help regulate them. (i reccoment the audiobook, she is lovely to listen to)
other books ive been recommended and not gotten around to reading yet :P :
Managing intense emotions and overcoming self-destructive habits by Loraine bell
(i'll add to this in the comments as there are a lot of books ive been given to read)
some of the exersises that have been explained to me and how it affects the thought prosses:
this week we focused on my low self worth and how i might be re-inforcing that in my mind.. and it goes a little bit like this..
low self worth > cognitive bias or un-helpful thinking > a personal sense of failure or malfunctioning > overgeneralising my emotions and self worth > re-inforcing the low self worth
ok i'll try and explain.. a cognitive bias or un-helpful thinking or irrational thoughts are the things you tell yourself or the mental bias you have that affects how you react. for example.. one of my bias is 'magical thinking' so beliveing that how i think of myself is how others think of me.. 'i feel like an awful person so my friend must also think so too' other cognitive bias that you can look up online are and you might have heard of a few already: all or nothing thinking (it will be perfect or a disaster, no grey area) mind reading or magical thinking (they must hate me despite my lack of proof) Catastrophizing ( making a mountain out of a molehill, or taking a thought to the most extreme end outcome)
there are a ton more of these bias that can affect how you personaly process information, the above just happen to be the ones i struggle with most! anyway, how the above steps can affect me 'i feel awful' > 'i will never be happy' > i'm a failure for feeling this way > re-inforcing the original thoughts...
another way this can affect you and an exersise you can use to figure yourself out is writing down how something plays out.. like this:
write down what you feel think in each of the following, the situation or initial trigger (what happened) > the altered thinking (all or nothing, extreme or unhelpful thoughts) > altered feelings and altered physical symptoms (how did this make me feel emotionaly and what physical symtoms did i have) > altered behavior (what did you do as a result of the altered thoughts/emotions?)
for example in my case:
I was going to get the bus but it is busy > 'i'll panic' 'i'll lose control on the bus' 'i'll never handle busy spaces' > this made me feel nervous, anxious and guilty, i then felt shaky and my heart rate sped up' > i did not get on the bus because of this.
the above will not only help you figure out how you react, but can also help you find individual triggers and what in particular you can't deal with, in my case the anxiety from telling myself i'll panic on the bus made me avoid it and then feel more anxious because i did not face that fear, making a vicious cycle of thought.
i know i'm no therapist and i'm sorry if this is difficult to read! but i hope it might help with anyone looking to start CBT or try out a few of the exersises :)
Thank you for sharing. I'm definitely going to get the books you reccommend.