Bad Day :(

I had one of the worse days in a long time with my BPD. I had this experience where I felt rejected by this thing, so tiny. I began to split and spiraled. I've been doing well for a long time. I am in therapy and medication. I am trying to be more aware of my feelings and their importance. But yesterday I felt like I was drowning. I was conscious about it, possibly for the first time. My denial was gone. I tried to say. It is only discomfort and I can take this but I felt like I was dying. I felt alone. I felt crazy for the first time ever. I felt like I could not explain what I experienced and noone could understand. So now I am here trying to validated myself and be compassionate. Saying to myself rationally this is progress. I would like to use common humanity knowing I'm not the only one. Maybe it makes me feel better wishing I was because I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone.