BPD and Insomnia
Hello,
I have Borderline personality disorder and I struggle with insomnia because I feel too lonely to sleep. I'm also pretty moody which doesn't help it in the mornings.
My friends are nice enough to me and I'm doing okay but I really miss being in a relationship. I know I need to take time to heal and love myself before I get to be in love again but I feel impatient and lonely all the same.
I write letters to my future soul mate and I know I still need to improve myself before even trying to date again... But regardless of what I do, I'm lonely and it won't ease at all.
Hi there @PoisonCupcakes. How are you feeling? I am really sorry your post went unanswered for such a long time. This section of the forum has been going through some changes lately and we hope to have it running again.
I think it is very important and great that you are able to recognise that we need to love ourselves before being able to love anyone else. I find your idea of writing letter to your future soulmate very sweet, and I wondered if you would consider writing love letters to yourself too...
@admaiorasemper Hi hi, I don't know... I'm better than I was when I wrote that. Thank you so much for answering it now, I appreciate this forum a lot.
I write love letters to myself too, yes, I think it's important to do gestures of self love in that way since that's a great idea! Also, cuddling with my cat helps too.
Anyway, you're a very kind person. How're you? Sending you positive energy back! ❤❤
@PoisonCupcakes thank you so much for your kind words and energy 
I am doing kind of ok I guess.
I'm sorry you feel this way. I think, it is great that you write letter as it helps to lash your emotions out. As for insomnia, did your doctor prescribe sleeping pill to you? I'm asking as I also can't sleep at night. Frankly speaking, I don't want to take any medication. I read the description of the slepping pills on [removed spam]and decided to try something else first. I've already started doing sports, canged my daily routine and try spending more time on a fresh air. I should say, it helps, not as well as I want, but I can see the result.
@Gregory234 I haven't been prescribed any medication and I prefer to try to improve things without pills too. Totally see where you're coming from!
I'm glad you're improving in that way because excerse is great overall! Sometimes having a lot of school work and exercising helps me too, although if anyone on the thread is familiar with other solutions and additional input for what works for them I'm interested.
@PoisonCupcakes
Have to tried with mindfulness or guided relaxing meditations? I personally find them useful :)
@admaiorasemper I have! They helped me sleep for a while but I need to be in the mood for it in order to get into it... Sometimes listening to podcasts helps too but its just hard to be consistent.
I'm glad it works for you though! I know it made a big difference for me when I did commit to meditating more often. ❤
@PoisonCupcakes
I actually have the very same issue as you, I need to be in the mood for them :D
@admaiorasemper Its an odd dilemma, reassuring you get it... Is there anything that helps you feel better even if you do stay up? ❤
@PoisonCupcakes
There are actually times in which I feel extremely active even if I get only two or three hours of sleep. If I am not in one of those phases and I cannot sleep, I simply accept it and become a zombie for the rest of the day(s)... How do you cope?
@admaiorasemper I have experience with that too! I end up passing out by the time its 5pm the next day...
Listening to music helps lift my mood if I'm up and can't sleep. Sometimes having the same song play on repeat helps me concentrate and sleep... And another thing I tell myself to feel better is that even if you don't sleep, just laying down and listening to something with your eyes closed is better than nothing because its still some rest.
My therapist actually thought I have rapid cycle bipolar for a while because of the hyperactivity but I'm not sure... Do you have any experience with that? What do you think could explain the two hours of sleep but still energetic cycle for you?
I really appreciate your input by the way, its surprising someone else would have such similar experiences.