Am I Borderline
Well well. I'm not asking for a self diagnose or anything I'm just trying to understand if I'm simply overreacting or if I need to go to a psychiatrist or anything. First of all I have Aspergers. I mention it because many symptoms overlap and yeah So um my relationships with other people are awful. Honestly I can't keep anyone close. Why? I can't have empathy for anyone except one person . I can't care for anyone except one person and this one person is like everything to me. My mood changes according to them, one moment I might cry cuz they haven't messaged me all day and the second they message me I might be so happy depends on what they texted . Also I am so clingy ,I need 24/7 attention and reinsurance. Even a slight change in the way they talk to me makes me think that they are going to leave and I panic..I am so scared that I'm going to lose them. Without them I'm nothing . I'm laying on bed all day waiting for them to text...I can't even manage to get up of bed. One moment I'm thinking how much I love them and the other that I might break up w them cuz they don't love me anymore. Asides relationship part, my mood changes in the speed of light. I might cry and the other moment decide to start new hobbies or go somewhere..I have booked to visit a psychiatrist many times during these moments (that I later canceled ). Also I decide that I will change and be a better person (which I never do) I waste so much money during this period that I later lose cuz I decide to either be depressed or priotize my favorite person . After this , maybe even minutes later I start crying that I wasted money and ya cancel things I can cancel. I am not able to do anything at all Moreover I don't know my personality. I don't know who am I . Physically and as a personality. I literally look in the mirror and every time I see me differently.i don't know how I look like . I don't know who am I + I overshare a lot. I open up extremely too much to people I even just met it's so embarrassing Last but not least , I feel so empty inside. I feel fake. Am I even real.Is anything real?I hate this empty feeling. This void...I just want to feel loved...I never feel loved...I want attention I want to be someone's favorite...I hate being alone ...why am I always alone
@SomeoneGR @fishythefish @straightforwardPear3480
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. Coping with BPD alone can be awfully difficult.
We have a list of Treatment resources (treatment types for personality disorders, provider database, low-cost options, & peer support) https://tinyurl.com/ysunhxtv
Also, for 7cups Personality Disorders community we host discussion/learning groups & sharing/support groups.
On 07/28/21 Wed at 8pm Eastern time we have a group called "Introduction to DBT"
There is an organization called https://emotionsmatterbpd.org/ which hosts regular BPD support groups. 