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Am I Borderline

SomeoneGR July 18th, 2021

Well well. I'm not asking for a self diagnose or anything I'm just trying to understand if I'm simply overreacting or if I need to go to a psychiatrist or anything. First of all I have Aspergers. I mention it because many symptoms overlap and yeah So um my relationships with other people are awful. Honestly I can't keep anyone close. Why? I can't have empathy for anyone except one person . I can't care for anyone except one person and this one person is like everything to me. My mood changes according to them, one moment I might cry cuz they haven't messaged me all day and the second they message me I might be so happy depends on what they texted . Also I am so clingy ,I need 24/7 attention and reinsurance. Even a slight change in the way they talk to me makes me think that they are going to leave and I panic..I am so scared that I'm going to lose them. Without them I'm nothing . I'm laying on bed all day waiting for them to text...I can't even manage to get up of bed. One moment I'm thinking how much I love them and the other that I might break up w them cuz they don't love me anymore. Asides relationship part, my mood changes in the speed of light. I might cry and the other moment decide to start new hobbies or go somewhere..I have booked to visit a psychiatrist many times during these moments (that I later canceled ). Also I decide that I will change and be a better person (which I never do) I waste so much money during this period that I later lose cuz I decide to either be depressed or priotize my favorite person . After this , maybe even minutes later I start crying that I wasted money and ya cancel things I can cancel. I am not able to do anything at all Moreover I don't know my personality. I don't know who am I . Physically and as a personality. I literally look in the mirror and every time I see me differently.i don't know how I look like . I don't know who am I + I overshare a lot. I open up extremely too much to people I even just met it's so embarrassing Last but not least , I feel so empty inside. I feel fake. Am I even real.Is anything real?I hate this empty feeling. This void...I just want to feel loved...I never feel loved...I want attention I want to be someone's favorite...I hate being alone ...why am I always alone

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fishythefish July 18th, 2021

Why the heck does this perfectly describe me, betch be my friend I've always wanted others to understand me

1 reply
SomeoneGR OP July 18th, 2021

Ι mean sure but how to contact you

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straightforwardPear3480 July 22nd, 2021

You really put what I’m feeling into better words than my own brain huh

straightforwardPear3480 July 22nd, 2021

You’re as alone in you’re feelings as you think

StarlitSky4762 July 22nd, 2021

@SomeoneGR You're brave to open up about your inner turmoil. Throughout my adolescence, I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome as well as a personality disorder. I understand how difficult it can be to determine which issue is which. Your difficulties are understandable, and we are here to support you.

StarlitSky4762 July 22nd, 2021

@SomeoneGR @fishythefish @straightforwardPear3480

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. Coping with BPD alone can be awfully difficult.

We have a list of Treatment resources (treatment types for personality disorders, provider database, low-cost options, & peer support) https://tinyurl.com/ysunhxtv

Also, for 7cups Personality Disorders community we host discussion/learning groups & sharing/support groups.
On 07/28/21 Wed at 8pm Eastern time we have a group called "Introduction to DBT"

There is an organization called https://emotionsmatterbpd.org/ which hosts regular BPD support groups. heart

martalomew July 22nd, 2021

As someone with BPD since their childhood, i felt every single sentence you wrote As someone who searched up depression/bpd/ptsd EVEN BEFORE i got my official diagnosis, i see nothing wrong with doing some research and comparing symptoms/expiriences with your own It's important to remember that BPD is not the same for everyone, there are more or less severe/mild cases, and that's okay if you found a single symptom that doesn't sound like you at all You still valid and your feelings are important! If you think you might fit the criteria of BPD - feel free to talk witb specialist or do more research first! I personally reccomend Daniel J. Fox books about borderline, they've helped me when i started to accept my own BPD!