Jealousness

@wishicouldbeyou

Hey there. It is good that you notice this behavior in yourself so you can try to figure out why you do and adapt. Is this your first relationship? If not, have you experienced this type of jealousy before? What about your girlfriend talking to others causes you to be jealous?

Hi thank you for reply i appreciate a lot. Im now having a break time with my gf and she want me to see my self back and come back if i can change and if i can happy with it. This is my first relationship though she is very precious for me ans i want to believe i can change myself and also i am happy.

@HopieRemi did you ever experienced same as me? Also im very low socialized and i dont have guy friends who is close.

@wishicouldbeyou

Not in the way that you have but there have been times where I was jealous to see someone that was my friend talking with others. From what you're saying, it sounds like you don't have a lot of friends? Please correct me if I am wrong but are you worried that she might not want to talk to you if she is talking to other people?

@HopeRemi yes i dont have lots of friends and i also had same problem like you too in hughschool. Well we are keep talking everyday a lot and she said she want to focus on her self for a while. I know she might change her mind later and find other person but i wanna try my best until we meet again. Gonna meet in december again and im gonna try my best because i dont wanna at least regret later even we break up

@HopieRemi And we both dont have other gender friend. And we both satisfy with it.

@wishicouldbeyou

What you and she are doing does not sound very healthy. It is important to have meaningful relationships outside of your own. It helps keep it healthy. You don't want to wake up one day and find that you have no one but her and you also don't want her to regret not having more friends. There is nothing wrong with friends as long as you both respect the relationship.

@wishicouldbeyou

Hi--yeah, I've experienced jealousy before. I've noticed for me, it's like a fear that I'm going to be abandoned/lost/forgotten or not receive the care/love I'm hoping for if the person I'm connected with gets distracted or attracted by somebody else.

Usually the way I try to deal with that is by expressing what my needs/wants are and trying to reach a mutual agreement on expectations so that both my needs and the other person's needs can be met. Like, maybe I want to talk every day but the other person doesn't want to talk as often, so we discuss it and are able to agree on talking 2-3x/week.

Hi! Im so happy i found someone who had same experience as me

It gives me hope that i can also be treared as you like how you showed. Thank you so much for sharing your edperience and im proud if you that you made it!

@wishicouldbeyou

Thanks! Relationships are tricky and it's been sort of a work-in-progress. I'd like to think that things are a little less chaotic each time just based on learning from my own mistakes, understanding my needs better, and understanding what I can/can't realistically expect someone else to do.

Yes but i think all of the things can be successfully accomppish if the couple have trust on each other. And i think it doesnt worth to change yourself is opponent isnt loyal. How do you think?

@wishicouldbeyou

That makes sense to me that if two people are able to trust one another and communicate effectively, they might be able to work through a lot of conflicts without hurting themselves or one another.

Also makes sense to me that if there's a relationship where person A is committed but person B isn't as committed, it might not be worthwhile for A to try to bend over backwards to change themselves or make one-sided sacrifices in order to try to please B.

Yes i really agree to all of your opinion and im so happy that there is someone like me. But my gf think one should meet someone who is perfect for someone and i think its not fairy tale or movie but have to compromise each other to be both happy....

@wishicouldbeyou

Yeah, I can see how meeting someone who's more compatible might make things a lot easier and more enjoyable. But I agree with you that pretty much any relationship even with the most compatible people is probably going to involve some amount of compromising. (People also change/evolve over time, so even if two people are perfect for one another at a specific moment, they might not always match perfectly on everything in the future.)