Guilt and self-isolation
I have AvPD and I am struggling with feelings of guilt and the tendency to isolate myself because of these feelings. My personality disorder is causing serious issues in my life, such that other people suffer from it as well. For example, I have had several jobs, but did not function well in them because of my mental health issues, and my poor performance negatively impacted other people. My partner has also told me how hard it is for him to deal with my personality disorder, and I can see him suffer. I feel like I should never have accepted a job or married anyone. Since I was a child I have dreamed of making the world a better place and helping others, but the sad truth is that my existence is creating chaos and causing suffering in this world. I am very upset about this and have the tendency to self-isolate to protect others from myself. I am not working at the moment and I try to hide my suffering from my partner, wearing a mask around him. Can anyone relate to these feelings and experiences? How do you cope?